lapsedmodernist: (Default)
me: you are so yummy! Can I eat you up?
Fionn: No! Because then you won't have me anymore!
me: but won't I have you in my tummy, then?
Fionn: but then you won't have me in Maastricht.
me: but isn't my tummy in Maastrirch?
Fionn: no, it's in (screams) ASIA!

Also here is a video of Fionn playing with his plane and map.


lapsedmodernist: (Default)
This is a giant photo post, filled with photos from my summer trips. I actually held off posting them because I feel like some of the photos from Cameroon and from Canada can be read as National Geographic-ish and that makes me intensely uncomfortable. But I am going to post all of them and by way of prolegomenon here is a gchat excerpt from last night (with [livejournal.com profile] apropos, natch)

me: so ihave these photos from Cameroon of these kids that really wanted their photos taken but they look uncomfortably like NG Africa photos. I guess if you take photos of kids in an African village on some level they will just look like that
apropos: yes
me: but what to do about it? how to make them not look like that?
apropos: you are not going to frame them in a NG way. hopefully.
me: how can I frame them except these kids really wanted their pics taken? I just wanted to put them on lj. I used a couple of photos from the villages in my workshop writeup [for my grant proposal] but not of kids, just of the community meeting
me I have actually lots of really cool photos from this powwow I went to in Canada because the family that invited me asked me to take pics of their kids and send them to them but they also look NG because all "native" photos in costume look NG that's like the dominant referent of the visual semioric
apropos: i think you can't do much about that semiotic except be clear about the context of the photo's production
me: yeah...
apropos: it is Bigger Than Us
me you know I actually found that taking pictures of kids is something nice I can do for people I visit
apropos: true
me not as like "exotic kids": but as in I am a pretty good children's photographer and can make nice photos for them for free and people are super into it...

So; in reverse chronological order:

yaounetraffic

more Cameroon )

Now onto a totally different part of the world, the Canadian North, namely the North of Alberta, the home of the Athabasca tar sands, and the massive oil and mining operations.

woodsdreamy

welcome to Alberta )

Summer is Pow-wow season there, people go from Pow-wow to Pow-wow competing in the dance competitions and visiting friends and relatives. I missed the one in Beaver Lake due to logistics/poor planning/unsuccessful hitchhiking, but Elaine, the sister of the Nation's chief, and an absolutley lovely woman who took me under her wing while I was there, invited me to the neighboring one in Heart Lake. She and her niece, Crystal, asked me to take photos of their kids, which I did, in addition to the photos I took when basically everyone was already dressed up.

At the Pow-wows it is very clearly marked when it is okay to take photos, and when it is not. Obviously all of these were taken during the allowed period )

And, finally, these next pictures are subpar in quality, since my camera was stolen in Ecuador, but below the cut are the few cell phone images I have from there

La Zona de Intag )
lapsedmodernist: (Default)
Basically ever since he started talking, I've been trying to get Fionn to name things--mostly his toys. I am just fascinated what kind of names he would come up with. But so far he has only named two things--some while ago, a plush toy of a blue elephant, gifted to him, I think, by one of [livejournal.com profile] theophile's friends; Fionn named the elephant Rose. And then in Berlin this summer he was gifted a stuffed penguin by [livejournal.com profile] shaherezada and he named it Trucknee. Or possibly Truckknee. The whole point was, that "trucks have knees."

That is all.
lapsedmodernist: (Default)
My friend really wants me to go to Istanbul with her for a weekend in November. I feel ambivalent--I am really worn out still from all the summer travel but might be into going if it's an amazing place I should absolutely see. I think I am unlikely to go there on my own.
You people read my livejournal, you know what I like. I don't care about museums or "official" cultural artifacts, but I love colorful bustling energetic photogenic cities with magic and mystery, a flaneur's paradise. Is that Istanbul?
Thoughts?
lapsedmodernist: (Default)
Ack. I keep wanting to post all of the million photos I have from my various summer journeys, but this month is just so busy. But here are a bunch of photos, mostly of Fionnster, from Berlin, for those of you who haven't seen them on facebook.

There are other photos, of tigers and labyrinths, and ping-pong tables, and playground spiderboys, but they will have to wait...for I have succumbed to the common cold virus (I hope) and must sleep, after hot tea with lemon and honey failed to do anything for my sore throat and my cold-bone-dampness-feeling.

fionnbeachchair
Fionn at Wannsee

fgogglescolor
Fionn at the Badenschiff (pictures a couple of entries below)

fionnberlinroom
Fionn in a Berlin room

fionnwaterpump
Fionn at the playground

fionnrefl2
Fionn on the S-Bahn
more more more )

bonus: us:

uswindows2

ussquareberlinmod

lapsedmodernist: (Default)
Fionn: Yoga! YOGA!

[livejournal.com profile] theophile: do you know what yoga is?

Fionn: yeah!

[livejournal.com profile] theophile: what is it?

Fionn: what is it?

[livejournal.com profile] theophile: if you don't know what it is, you can make something up. What do you think yoga is?

Fionn (in a whisper): a monster...
lapsedmodernist: (Default)
When we were on the train to Berlin a few weeks ago, a child seated in the seat ahead of us started eating a giant lollipop. Fionn immediately said: "I smell something! I smell something sweet!" I was like, oh no, because then he would want a lollipop, and I don't have one, and we don't give him lollipops in general, but as right at that moment we were passing a river, he asked "mama, is that sweet smell the river?" I saw a way out, and was, like, "yes!" BUT I was short-sighted, because fifteen and twenty minutes later, as the river was left far behind, Fionn kept saying "I still smell the river! I can still smell the river, mama!" And then I had to confess to him that it wasn't actually the river, it was another child's candy.
lapsedmodernist: (Default)
Well, dear livejournal, I have certainly been all over the map. I am back home, though, grateful to rest after all of my peregrinations. Although "rest" doesn't really describe the "million of unpaired silkworms" which is a quaint expression my parents use to describe periods in life when you have too much to do. I am finishing up the syllabi for the MA courses I am designing today, and yesterday I wrote the "fieldwork guide" for the same program. My manuscript revisions are due at the end of September.

But I am taking a break and want to write about a few books I read this summer--I am not doing an lj-cut because if there are any spoilers, they are very minor--more like references to plot points, without really giving much away. No more, I think, than regular book reviews one would read.

I read two books that are strangely, hauntingly intertextual--Jennifer Egan's newest "A Visit from the Goon Squad" and Gary Shteyngart's third novel "Super Sad True Love Story" (the latter made me cry a lot on the train between Paris and Maastricht). First of all, I want to say that I was apprehensive about Jennifer Egan's new work, since I am/was a huge fan of her, and then "The Keep" totally sucked, but The Goon Squad is really really good, it is still her typical themes, but it is really innovative. I still think my favorite one of hers is "Look at Me"--it was just so formative for me, and so helpful in coming to understand my own anxious mind (although it feels a little dated now--but it is not her fault--it's just anxiety can be very zeitgeist-specific...it feels dated the way "White Noise" is kind of dated now, you know?), and I still love "The Invisible Circus" although it her least sophisticated book. But yes, The Good Squad is disjointed in a way that is challenging to read, but ultimately works, largely because of the ending.

Super Sad True Love Story is in fact super sad, although I wonder if I find it especially sad as a child of immigrant parents/first generation immigrant myself. Shteyngard gets SO MUCH of the irreversible psychological configurations around that right--immigration is this zodiac sign that marked Lenny and Eunice, the protagonists, so profoundly, even though the book is about time and mortality. Just like The Good Squad. I mean, has anyone else read both of those yet? Aren't they, like, part of the emerging body of literature about what it is like to be alive and mortal RIGHT NOW?

Even though the narratives and genres of the two of them diverge, it is like they exist in the same symbolic universe, although they come by their distilled dreamlike images in different ways. The Goon Squad has this backwards-turned nostalgic kaleidoscope lens, that made me think of that "carousel" speech Don Draper gave in the season 1 finale of Mad Men. Things happen in the past tense, and sometime in the future tense, but it is all like a landscape of some dream of a collective unconscious, in locations that seem unstable once processed through the narrative or the characters' memory. The Lower East Side kitchen with a bathtub that Sasha, the owner of the apartment, imagines the one-night-stand she brings home trying to remember many years in the future, as a part of an undifferentiated "early years in New York" bricolage--and, in fact, he does. The drug-fueled swim in the East River, its consequences, and the liminal last house before the New Mexico desert starts that it results in, years down the road. The man who brings the giant fish caught in the East River to the powerful music executive's office. The safari, where the young anthropology student is re-inventing structuralism in an emotional landscape.

And then in "Love Story" maybe the dream images isn't what comes to mind first because it is more clearly a sci-fi/dystopia genre piece, what with the three-umlauted äppäräts--but all the exteriors seem strangely thin when mediated through Lenny's introspective anxiety, like his Rome, strewn together of peripheral interactions and half-glimpsed images in rooms and room corners, and later, when everything goes to shit in New York, much of it seems like a postapocalyptic dream.

Oh, I also read "Mockingjay"--the last book in "The Hunger Games" trilogy. I tore through it in a day and it was quite satisfying. I especially liked the pensive, reflexive, emotionally subdued tone of the coda. I mean, it makes sense that basically everyone in those series would end up with PTSD, even though that's not the vocabulary of that universe.

Headdesk

Aug. 21st, 2010 07:19 pm
lapsedmodernist: (Default)
I spent almost 2 hours today trying (unsuccessfully) to get the correct phone number for Lost and Found airport in Berlin. The number listed on the internet (and it is also the same number in the airport system) is apparently not correct, as calling it connects one to a man who keeps saying that this is not lost and found, and he cannot help. Relaying this information to the main airport switchboard does not have the desired effect.

Any ideas for how I can find the correct phone number for Lost and Found at Tegel?

HA

Aug. 20th, 2010 10:37 pm
lapsedmodernist: (Default)
One of my favorite offerings ever, from Television Without Pity, in the recap of the most recent episode of True Blood, with regard to Arlene:

vaguely spolierish )
lapsedmodernist: (Default)
In Berlin with limited interwebs, much more soon, but for now just wanted to record this gchat for posterity:

apropos : i feel like Millennium is a left-liberal Atlas Shrugged
me: you are totally right, it is like a leftie Atlas Shrugged with more feminism but weirdly same/more rape

also:

littlebadenschiff

littletrainwindowcolor
lapsedmodernist: (Default)
I am taking a brief break from packing for Berlin. Livejournal, a question came into my mind. Depending on what your profession is, what is the form that "lay [incorrect] expertise" takes with regard to it? Like, and I've written about this before, but there is this specific discourse of "lay anthropology" that is seizure-inducing. Usually it involves a broad generalization about "primitive people" or "an African tribe" (that usually goes unnamed; if [on a rare occasion] it is named, it is generally the Maasai, whether or not the attributed behavior has anything to do with the Maasai or not. Usually this un-knowledge is wielded in support of whatever [generally Western privileged] behavior the speaker is seeking to universalize/naturalize, like (one example) the extreme, fetishistic version of attachment parenting. And these are not even teachable moments, because most of the time you can't get these people to reflect on their assumptions, because these assumptions are just symbolic expressions of their subjective emotions, masquerading as factual narratives. I can correct factual narratives; I can't do much with deep-rooted investment in primitivism, that goldmine of emotional validation for a very specific subset of the general population.

Anyway, I feel like I have a sense of what shape this sort of annoyance must take for doctors (what with THE INTERNET!) and for therapists--but what about other professions? What is your profession, and do people outside it casually claim expertise in an ignorant way that drives you craz?
lapsedmodernist: (Default)
I am seriously worried about my relatives in Moscow, especially my aunt and uncle, who are in their seventies. It's been 107-108 degrees there this week already, now it has "fallen" to 103. No one in Moscow has air conditioners, all the fans are sold out, and peat bogs are burning on the outskirts of Moscow. Moscow is filled with smog, people are wearing masks, asthma sufferers are having a really bad time, toxic particles in air are 8 times the norm.

Things look very bad.

+/-

Aug. 2nd, 2010 10:25 am
lapsedmodernist: (Default)
- I seem to have totally fucked up my neck in my sleep last night. It is stiff and hurts, and hurts a lot when I try to, like, turn my head. My range of motion is severely limited.

- my hair needs washing and I absolutely cannot wash it with my neck in this sorry state.

+ Our office assistant recommended a chiropractor who turns out to be very close to my house, and I made an appointment for this afternoon.

- I am always a bit nervous about seeing new chiropractors. Although the one I saw this summer in New York was great--but she was recommended by my regular chiropractor. Anyway, this one I don't need for highly sophisticated cranial work and intraoral adjustments, but just to manipulate my neck back into a no-pain zone. I hope it will be okay!

+ [livejournal.com profile] apropos visited last week

- I was totally overwhelmed by the bureaucratic visissitutes of my job during her visit. Poor she had to take two field trips with me, into different cities (and in one case an industrial park within one of those cities), this was all part of a saga involving getting a passport mailed to me from Ecuador so that I could get it stamped with a Cameroonian visa.

+ Got the visa

+ Hopefully will be able to finally mail the passport back today.

+ The weather in Maastricht is in comfortable high teens/low twenties (in the seventies for Fahrenheit people), which is a relief after the heatwave of the East Coast

+ Red currant is in season, and I bought two huge boxes of it at the farmers' market on Friday. Already ate them; will buy more at the next farmers' market on Wednesday.

- Having a hard time with writing (actually structuring) my conference paper that is due today

+ Fortunately had a breakthrough while gchatting with [livejournal.com profile] apropos last night, and now I think I will be able to finish it. Just as soon as I am done with the passport.

+ Going to Berlin on Sunday, with Fionnster, to meet up with my parents. I think Fionn will love it there. There is a zoo for him, and the pool in the River Spree, and lakes to swim in, and the Legoland discovery center, and all kinds of amazing playgrounds. My parents have already promised him the zoo over Skype, and Fionn is very excited. Also I emailed my friend Lea to say I will be in Berlin, and she was like: can we take Fionn to the 1001 nights playground? Um, yes!

- I think Fionn is still freaked out by unfamiliar potties, which makes going on the train with him a bit challenging. It was definitely a huge issue for him when we took the Eurostar to London in February, he was terrified of the train toilet, but really needed to go...Hopefully he will find German train toilets more user-friendly? If not, I guess there is always diapers.

+ Every time I get dressed in the morning right now I am delighted by the fact that I got 4 amazing skirts and a vintage dress altogether for $30 at this huge great thriftstore near [livejournal.com profile] totalvirility's house. Lots of vintage stuff, awesome skirts, most of them $5 or $7 a piece. I think lots of great other stuff, too, but I just got bogged down in skirts. I think I will wear the blue and brown one with sequins today. Slightly more festive than I would usually wear to the office, but hey, it's summer.
lapsedmodernist: (Default)
That new video game Limbo I keep seeing trailers for? Totally cribbed from the old Russian animations, Hedgehog in the Fog.

Exhibit A:


Exibit B:

(esp. look at minutes 5-8)
lapsedmodernist: (Default)
A few photos of Miss Palindrome and her daughter (and Fionn's lovely cousin) Zamara. It is always wonderful to hang out with them in Bed-Stuy, eat blueberries and sample H's vegan cooking, and talk about everything in the worldly world, not to mention transcendental meditation.

Also Zamara is full of hugs and kisses for her aunt Nica, which is SO SWEET.

nursingmod

hznursebwsitting

zmischief

hzgarden2

zgarden1
lapsedmodernist: (Default)
My favorites of recent twits from Fionn, courtesy of the twitter account [livejournal.com profile] theophile sets up and populates with Fionn's vocalizations:

I am going to disappear in the water and then DJOOOOUP I will splash into the sun. I am going to be a dolphin.

I love darkness. I love light and darkness.

There is no river in New York now. It has been covered up like BBJJOOOOUK with the land. I do not think we will see the river again.

If I see a dragon I will say "go away, go into the next yard," and it will have to go away. I do not like dragons. I will be very rude.

I am just trying to eat the bathtub. Then I will have to take a bath in my belly.

I think the sunset must love the night. That is why it is dark.

Books

Jul. 10th, 2010 04:39 am
lapsedmodernist: (Default)
Right now reading Year of the Flood. So far liking it a lot better than Oryx and Crake, which I didn't like all that much, but was sort of compelled by.

Excited/interested to read the new Jennifer Egan book. Even though I really did not like her last one, I loved the first two (esp. the second one)

A new Gary Shteyngart novel coming out in just a couple of weeks! Hooray!

Probably less profound, but last book in the Hunger Games series coming out next month! Also hooray!

New Yorkers

Jul. 6th, 2010 04:07 am
lapsedmodernist: (Default)
New camera

Nikon D3000

Lens: 55-200

My first time ever with this lens. Trying it out for street photography.

Am pleased.

yeswecan

profiles

girls

postnobills1

longhair

mangraf

hisface

girlsskirt

lady
lapsedmodernist: (Default)
What I thought was the hind end of a disgusting long insect turned out to be the tail of a beautiful tiny bird.

Profile

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