lapsedmodernist

One of my favorite offerings ever, from Television Without Pity, in the recap of the most recent episode of True Blood, with regard to Arlene:

She follows Arlene into the back office and talks her through the Tommy altercation and through being disillusioned by her job and being worried about the baby. And then they talk about how the baby is EVIL because Arlene is a total idiot: While the actual fact of evolution may be the scary imaginary Devil's work, Lamarckian genetics is just plain ol' intelligent design.

Thus, if your babydaddy was driven mad by his own repressed incestuous feelings and attraction to the Other, and eventually became a serial strangler, then... Obviously your child will be a serial killer also? I mean I just hate her stupid ass. America is something you could always be prouder of and I absolutely hate when it gets harder for no good reason. Does that mean if it was Terry's son it would have PTSD from Iraq? Does that mean its hair will be orange and be born knowing how to bus a table? Will it come out pregnant, perhaps birthing a fetus that is in turn giving birth to progressively smaller fetuses, in an unending white trash matryoshka doll?

Arlene weeps about the monstrous Lamarckian fractal in her womb and admits she does not want the baby in her, so Holly's like, "Terminate? We can go right now." But of course that's not an option either, because Arlene is the fucking worst, so then what? Something magical probably, but since this is all in her retarded head it seems like you could just wave your hands over her belly while The 700 Club is on and then be like, "This house is clean!"