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Definitions, Part Deux
Jan. 20th, 2003 03:46 pmFor your education, here is another installment in the arena of providing concrete definitions for confusing sociosexual situations and discourses. This is a public service, really. Today we are going to talk about sexuality. The gay/straight binary is over, plus it never existed. I am not even going to get into the politicized issues of labeling various sexualities. I am going to provide definitions of the ways self-identified "straight" boys can be gay.
1) The Ancient Greek Boy (also known as Homosocial (both noun and adjective))--describes boys (sometimes waaay into sports, in a kind of chicken-or-egg conundrum) who valorize and reify love between men, and believe that that kind of love is the only pure/true/manly love. Women are, in one way or another, a threatening or abject other, but never an object of love. This kind of discourse can be latent, or, after a few drinks can cross over into #2.
2) The "If I Were Any Less Straight Would I Have Your Dick Up My Ass" Boy--describes boys who frolick, drunkenly, with their male (often also IIWALSWIHYDUMA boys), asserting the heterosexuality and thus the legitimacy of their male bond by the "comfort" with which they circle-jerk, moon each other and slap each other on the ass, at the same time creating an arena for acting out their sublimated desires.
3) Heteroflexible Boy--a boy who, to quote Roger Ebert's review of "Rules of Attraction," (a film and novel that features many heteroflexible, homosocial and just plain polymorphously perverse boys)"when he isn't with the gender he loves, he loves the gender he is with."
4) Ungay Boy--This category was created by Claire, Charlie and myself, and must be understood in terms of the discourse of the Undead, a.k.a. zombies. Zombies are neither dead nor alive practically (they are a bricolage of qualities that usually exclusively define on as living OR dead), but since death, not live is the state that is presumed as their baseline, albeit violated, status (i.e., they died and then have risen again), they are Undead, rather than Unalive. An Ungay boy is someone who, analogously, paradoxically displays characteristics together that on their own serve to demarcate someone as gay or straight, but his baseline sexuality is presumed to be queer, and yet he is fucking with female heads by claiming he wants to date them.
(Note: as much as I hate (well, love, but also hate, mine is a complicated self-contradictory emotion) Cosmo and their fake, made-up faux-hip argot, they did come up with a pretty good term for this category, which is Stray (i.e. Straight/Gay combo). It has the advantage of sounding more discrete in public).
5) Joe Hetero (term imported from SNL)--describes boys who are more obviously gay than the Ungay ones, indicated by the fact that they don't try to date girls, but get "platonic" crushes on their male friends, yet assert their heterosexuality until the shell of repression usually imposed by fundamentalist/Southern Baptist religious upbringing cracks open, and they emerge, cute as little yellow wet chickens, ready to play with each other.
6) Gomo--a gay pomo.
7) Ungomo--an Ungay pomo. That one is often redundant.
1) The Ancient Greek Boy (also known as Homosocial (both noun and adjective))--describes boys (sometimes waaay into sports, in a kind of chicken-or-egg conundrum) who valorize and reify love between men, and believe that that kind of love is the only pure/true/manly love. Women are, in one way or another, a threatening or abject other, but never an object of love. This kind of discourse can be latent, or, after a few drinks can cross over into #2.
2) The "If I Were Any Less Straight Would I Have Your Dick Up My Ass" Boy--describes boys who frolick, drunkenly, with their male (often also IIWALSWIHYDUMA boys), asserting the heterosexuality and thus the legitimacy of their male bond by the "comfort" with which they circle-jerk, moon each other and slap each other on the ass, at the same time creating an arena for acting out their sublimated desires.
3) Heteroflexible Boy--a boy who, to quote Roger Ebert's review of "Rules of Attraction," (a film and novel that features many heteroflexible, homosocial and just plain polymorphously perverse boys)"when he isn't with the gender he loves, he loves the gender he is with."
4) Ungay Boy--This category was created by Claire, Charlie and myself, and must be understood in terms of the discourse of the Undead, a.k.a. zombies. Zombies are neither dead nor alive practically (they are a bricolage of qualities that usually exclusively define on as living OR dead), but since death, not live is the state that is presumed as their baseline, albeit violated, status (i.e., they died and then have risen again), they are Undead, rather than Unalive. An Ungay boy is someone who, analogously, paradoxically displays characteristics together that on their own serve to demarcate someone as gay or straight, but his baseline sexuality is presumed to be queer, and yet he is fucking with female heads by claiming he wants to date them.
(Note: as much as I hate (well, love, but also hate, mine is a complicated self-contradictory emotion) Cosmo and their fake, made-up faux-hip argot, they did come up with a pretty good term for this category, which is Stray (i.e. Straight/Gay combo). It has the advantage of sounding more discrete in public).
5) Joe Hetero (term imported from SNL)--describes boys who are more obviously gay than the Ungay ones, indicated by the fact that they don't try to date girls, but get "platonic" crushes on their male friends, yet assert their heterosexuality until the shell of repression usually imposed by fundamentalist/Southern Baptist religious upbringing cracks open, and they emerge, cute as little yellow wet chickens, ready to play with each other.
6) Gomo--a gay pomo.
7) Ungomo--an Ungay pomo. That one is often redundant.
