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Modes of Seduction
Jan. 14th, 2003 01:58 pmseveral modes of seduction:
1) The Ayn Rand seduction--successful when both parties have read "The Fountainhead" or "Atlas Shrugged." Since to those that have read them, those were often formative books, this fosters an immediate elitist bond. Plus, all that talk about granite quarries, and those phallic trains going into those tunnels, and the whole ideology of self-actualization. Sexy.
2) The e.e. cummings seduction. That's when someone recites e.e. poetry at you, starting with the light ones, and moving towards the more risque ones, while simultaneously moving their hand up your leg. The poetic equivalent of a "home run" in this progression is e.e. cumming's poem called "may i feel"
here it is:
may i feel
by e.e. cummings
may i feel said he
(i'll squeal said she
just once said he)
it's fun said she
(may i touch said he
how much said she
a lot said he)
why not said she
(let's go said he
not too far said she
what's too far said he
where you are said she)
may i stay said he
(which way said she
like this said he
if you kiss said she
may i move said he
is it love said she)
if you're willing said he
(but you're killing said she
but it's life said he
but your wife said she
now said he)
ow said she
(tiptop said he
don't sop said she
oh no said he)
go slow said she
(cccome?said he
ummm said she)
you're divine!said he
(you are Mine said she)
if performed in real time, the poem can progress from being metaphorical (i.e. "i am reading you this sexy poem because i want to fuck you AND i want you to think i am literary and witty, the poem he/she in the poem are the metaphor for you/me and what we should be doing!") to being acted out literally (i.e. "you are fucking me because I am literary and witty and you are proving it in the moment and the he/she in the poem become, metonymically, you and me")
3) The Leonard Cohen seduction. That's when a boy plays Leonard Cohen songs for you, tells you how the lyrics in one of them are really about sex, then says "wait, wait, I want to play you this song, it makes me think of you..." Followed by a *meaningful gaze* through the long eyelashes.
4) The Seduce-Me seduction. That's when a boy reclines on a piece of furniture somehwere in your hourse/apartment/dorm room with his hand vaguely in the vicinity of his crotch, making absolutely no advances towards you, and showing no sign of leaving, thus provoking you into doing anything at all to resolve this weird and uncomfortable impasse.
5) The Peace Corps seduction--the vaguely existential "I've been in these places/we are so privileged/yet there is joy and human spirit in the midst of poverty/this stone that I have around my neck on a hemp rope matches the color of your eyes/This powder is a powerful indigenous aphrodisiac, they say that if you take it with your soulmate, you will see stars...No, those are not glow-in the dark-constellations on my ceiling" seduction.
6)The Hemingway Seduction--drink a lot of cognac, abstractly talk about impotence, and also about bullfighting and toreadores in curt, concise, sentences. There is analogy with the Peace Corps seduction in the sense that there may be a Proppian adventure narrative in place, featuring traveling to exotic locales (like Barcelona or Morocco), but there is no homology, because the subtext of the PC seduciton is "the world is interconnected, let's be interconnected too," while the Hemingway corollary is "the world is alienating, life is a tale told by an idiot with the sound and the fury and the nothingness, we are all emotionally impotent, let's highlight the ironic state of affairs by engaging in some fleeting physical intimacy."
7) The Nabokovian Seduction--"Lolita, light of my life, fire of my loins. My sin. My soul. Lo-lee-ta: the tip of the tongue taking a trip of three steps down the palate to tap, at three, on the teeth. Lo. Lee. Ta. "
Some seductions can be hybrids that feature permutations of different elements endemic to different seductions. For example, the Leonard Cohen seduction can be alternately deployed together with the PC seduction, or the Hemingway seduction; The Ayn Rand seduction and the Hemingway seduction may target some overlapping demographic; the "seduce me" seduction can occationally flavor the PC seduction, either enhancing the sensitivity tip, or, depending on how it's played, conversely, adding mystery to an earnest hippie-type approach.
In the next installation, you will be familiarized with the lexicon pertaining to pomo genders and sexualities, with the ontogenesis and definition of commonly used terms, and also contexts in which they may be applied, and examples of the terms used in sentences. There may be a worksheet. I have not decided yet.
1) The Ayn Rand seduction--successful when both parties have read "The Fountainhead" or "Atlas Shrugged." Since to those that have read them, those were often formative books, this fosters an immediate elitist bond. Plus, all that talk about granite quarries, and those phallic trains going into those tunnels, and the whole ideology of self-actualization. Sexy.
2) The e.e. cummings seduction. That's when someone recites e.e. poetry at you, starting with the light ones, and moving towards the more risque ones, while simultaneously moving their hand up your leg. The poetic equivalent of a "home run" in this progression is e.e. cumming's poem called "may i feel"
here it is:
may i feel
by e.e. cummings
may i feel said he
(i'll squeal said she
just once said he)
it's fun said she
(may i touch said he
how much said she
a lot said he)
why not said she
(let's go said he
not too far said she
what's too far said he
where you are said she)
may i stay said he
(which way said she
like this said he
if you kiss said she
may i move said he
is it love said she)
if you're willing said he
(but you're killing said she
but it's life said he
but your wife said she
now said he)
ow said she
(tiptop said he
don't sop said she
oh no said he)
go slow said she
(cccome?said he
ummm said she)
you're divine!said he
(you are Mine said she)
if performed in real time, the poem can progress from being metaphorical (i.e. "i am reading you this sexy poem because i want to fuck you AND i want you to think i am literary and witty, the poem he/she in the poem are the metaphor for you/me and what we should be doing!") to being acted out literally (i.e. "you are fucking me because I am literary and witty and you are proving it in the moment and the he/she in the poem become, metonymically, you and me")
3) The Leonard Cohen seduction. That's when a boy plays Leonard Cohen songs for you, tells you how the lyrics in one of them are really about sex, then says "wait, wait, I want to play you this song, it makes me think of you..." Followed by a *meaningful gaze* through the long eyelashes.
4) The Seduce-Me seduction. That's when a boy reclines on a piece of furniture somehwere in your hourse/apartment/dorm room with his hand vaguely in the vicinity of his crotch, making absolutely no advances towards you, and showing no sign of leaving, thus provoking you into doing anything at all to resolve this weird and uncomfortable impasse.
5) The Peace Corps seduction--the vaguely existential "I've been in these places/we are so privileged/yet there is joy and human spirit in the midst of poverty/this stone that I have around my neck on a hemp rope matches the color of your eyes/This powder is a powerful indigenous aphrodisiac, they say that if you take it with your soulmate, you will see stars...No, those are not glow-in the dark-constellations on my ceiling" seduction.
6)The Hemingway Seduction--drink a lot of cognac, abstractly talk about impotence, and also about bullfighting and toreadores in curt, concise, sentences. There is analogy with the Peace Corps seduction in the sense that there may be a Proppian adventure narrative in place, featuring traveling to exotic locales (like Barcelona or Morocco), but there is no homology, because the subtext of the PC seduciton is "the world is interconnected, let's be interconnected too," while the Hemingway corollary is "the world is alienating, life is a tale told by an idiot with the sound and the fury and the nothingness, we are all emotionally impotent, let's highlight the ironic state of affairs by engaging in some fleeting physical intimacy."
7) The Nabokovian Seduction--"Lolita, light of my life, fire of my loins. My sin. My soul. Lo-lee-ta: the tip of the tongue taking a trip of three steps down the palate to tap, at three, on the teeth. Lo. Lee. Ta. "
Some seductions can be hybrids that feature permutations of different elements endemic to different seductions. For example, the Leonard Cohen seduction can be alternately deployed together with the PC seduction, or the Hemingway seduction; The Ayn Rand seduction and the Hemingway seduction may target some overlapping demographic; the "seduce me" seduction can occationally flavor the PC seduction, either enhancing the sensitivity tip, or, depending on how it's played, conversely, adding mystery to an earnest hippie-type approach.
In the next installation, you will be familiarized with the lexicon pertaining to pomo genders and sexualities, with the ontogenesis and definition of commonly used terms, and also contexts in which they may be applied, and examples of the terms used in sentences. There may be a worksheet. I have not decided yet.
