Forget about Health Care Reform!

[lapsedmodernist]

I want to talk about another reform--FIRE DEPARTMENT REFORM. Why should YOUR tax dollars pay for someone who is irresponsible enough to smoke in the house, or to choose to rent or own property in areas historically vulnerable to wildfires? Fire safety in the home should be everyone's personal responsibility. I propose a creation of a system of privatized FSMOs--Fire Safety Management Organizations. By enrolling in a FSMO plan you will become eligible for access to fire safety services in the event of a fire in your home. You will be able to select from a variety of plans, ranging from the plans with a high monthly premium and a low annual deductible to the ones with a low monthly premium and a higher annual deductible. Families with young children, smokers, gas stoves, and individuals or families residing in areas that have experienced nonstructured fires, other than prescribed fires, occurring in the wildlands in the last 15 years (including but not limited to some residents of California, Texas, New Mexico and Oregon) may have to pay higher premiums.

In the event of a fire in your home you will be protected. In the event of a fire simply call your FSMO free 800 number and receive an authorization code. Then call your in-network Fire Safety Provider*, and they will dispatch a unit to your house to assist you**. Make sure you always have your FSMO card with you so that you can present it to your Fire Safety Provider ***

How many times have you had a fire in your home and then waited for hours for the government-funded Fire Department to show up? The FSMO model offers efficiency and speed at a low cost. In the privatized system you know that your tax dollars are not subsidizing other people's poor choices, and at the same time the enrollment rates will be kept low and the quality of service will be kept high by competition between FSMOs. YOU as a customer will have the choice to enroll in a different FSMO if you are not satisfied with the extent and the quality of your coverage****.

*Your FSMO may not cover the expenses incurred by contracting an out-of-network Fire Safety Provider. If you enroll in a PPO (Preferred Provider Organization) plan with your FSMO, you may receive 50% reimbursement for services rendered by FSPs outside your network.

**Certain services are not covered or only partially covered. Application of water to the fire is covered at 80% of the cost. If additional materials such as water-based fire retardant foam are needed for smothering the fire, or if dry chemical or halogenated agents are used for chemical flame inhibition, the cost of the agents must be paid for out of pocket, and will then be reimbursed at 50% of the standard rate.

***Failure to do so may result in you receiving an itemized bill from your engaged Fire Safety Provider. In that case you must pay the bill out of pocket, and you may submit your expenses to the FSMO for reimbursement within 30 days. Please allow up to 12 weeks for a decision on your reimbursement claim.

****Some conditions may apply. Failure to hold a FSMO policy for longer than 60 days may render you ineligible for enrollment in an FSMO program in the future. Failure to disclose any risk factors, including a history of smoking, or presence of any children under 18 not listed on the policy on your property gives the FSMO the right to cancel your policy without reimbursement.

Comments

[prostheticgod04.livejournal.com]

NOICEEE!

[fengi.livejournal.com]

Look there's a finite amount of water and chemical suppressants in the world and they do cost money. Anything which costs money must be rationed in some way because obviously the issue is scarcity and not that the water and foam industry has unrealistic standards of profit.*

Not even the most radical universal fire questions water costs because that would be communist and insane.

*Or that firemen expect upper class compensation which would be hard to justify if their training wasn't absurdly expensive.

[smschrader.livejournal.com]

I've got some fire department hating friends who will love this!

[zerodivide1101.livejournal.com]

[dfordoom.livejournal.com]

If people want protection from fires they should buy their own damned fire engines!

[lady3jane.livejournal.com]

*****If service provided is not pre-approved by your FSMO, you will be required to pay charges out of pocket with 0% reimbursement.

[nightspore.livejournal.com]

Actually, did you know that fire departments (in the US, anyhow) were originally run by insurance companies to put out fires in the buildings they insured against fires? True fact.

Somehow, the Socialists in this Socialist Republic managed to make it a government function, and now the US is practically a third-world economy, bankrupted by the costs of protecting everyone from fire. And if fire departments had been privatized from the start, you can be damn sure that they would have prevented 9-11 -- their incentive to stop the burning and collapse of the WTC would have been far more efficient than the Socialist Bush-Cheney Administration's assumption that government could keep us safe.

Want public firefighters? Go back to Kenya where you were born.

[lapsedmodernist.livejournal.com]

I did not know this!

But did you know that until 1964 the top tax rate in the US was 91%?

[nightspore.livejournal.com]

I did know that. That's when we had a chance for some real Socialism. I think 91% was put in by Eisenhower and confirmed by JFK, and then LBJ started reducing it. Just imagine....

[lapsedmodernist.livejournal.com]

not from me.

[flintultrasparc.livejournal.com]

Private fire insurance rackets is the way things were done in Baltimore back when it was Mobtown. The gangs tended to try and do two things: control a fire company and control a political party. It has quite a history. Probably the best known event was the Know Nothing Riot of 1856. Take a look at the American Party (or the Know Nothings, remind you of any anti-immigrant contemporary party in particular?

[never-the-less.livejournal.com]

Brilliant.

[boymaenad.livejournal.com]

love it.

seen this?

http://danthered.livejournal.com/682620.html

[lapsedmodernist.livejournal.com]

yes, although I saw a repost of it on facebook. It's really making the rounds!

[slanderous.livejournal.com]

Exactly.

[lapsedmodernist.livejournal.com]

of course! link away.

[khalinche.livejournal.com]

Same question! I think this is the best thing I've seen about the current healthcare reform "controversy".

[lapsedmodernist.livejournal.com]

yes, of course. But there's not going to be any reform.

[rezendi.livejournal.com]

Have done.

Also, http://www.theonion.com/content/node/32825

[isolt.livejournal.com]

<3

[rezendi.livejournal.com]

Also, you left "time" out of the phrase "at the same the enrollment rates"

[lapsedmodernist.livejournal.com]

merci, my non-violent Canadian friend!

[ccw71266.livejournal.com]

The sad part is, there are rightards who actually think this is a good idea.

[lapsedmodernist.livejournal.com]

funny that you say that...did you follow the link from rezendi's journal?

[ccw71266.livejournal.com]

Yes.

But I only read the comments there after I commented here.

Yeesh.

[foms.livejournal.com]

I knew that I remembered a thread that might interest thos reading this one. Behold:
http://theferrett.livejournal.com/995765.html

[hairyears.livejournal.com]

Thank you, thank you, thank you! At last, someone is talking sense about extracting useful economic gain from the unwanted relics of Soviet-Era paternalism.

Might I offer my services as a corporate rebranding advisor to the London Fire Brigade?

And I shall state, for the record, that I would rather see a Libertarian's house burn down than force myself to watch the repulsive spectacle of an American small-town volunteer Fire Brigade acting in violation of the Sacred Tenets of Our Lady of Objectivism, AYN RAND. What do they gain by this disgusting display of 'charity' other than a vile descent into Socialism and the hell of universal indolence by burdening society with those too weak and economically-worthless to be left unburnt? It is Against Nature, I say!

At least the bureaucratic and ineffectual parasites who put out fires in the employment of the life-sucking and overmighty state in Centrally-Planned Economies can claim self-interest and an economic motive to their actions. Most, I fear, are beyond redemption and thoroughly deserve the Gulag State that they have created by their own moral failings; but imagine what the entrepreneurs among them could do, if only the Free Market unleashed the natural human desire for profit!

...Said Nile, who has only just got round to thanking khalinche for introducing us in Amazonia.

[smhwpf.livejournal.com]

Don't. Give them. Ideas.

Seriously, brilliant!

[hitchhiker.livejournal.com]

i like it :) (here via rezendi)

[nontacitare.livejournal.com]

I found your post via Shakesville. Brilliantly written.

Would you mind if I linked to it?

[lapsedmodernist.livejournal.com]

of course I don't mind, link away.

[sabotabby]

Here via khalinche.

The government should get its grubby government hands off our firefighting services!

[anthrokeight.livejournal.com]

I love you and want to approve your panel for the AAA meetings in Awesome Town.

[nikadubrovsky.livejournal.com]

вах!