(no subject)

[lapsedmodernist]

something just occurred to me--Fionn is about to turn one, and to the best of my knowledge, he does not, nor did he at any point, have a transitional object. I thought transitional objects were as universal in baby development as, like, the oral stage and the mirror stage. Hmmmm.

Comments

[redheadedmuse.livejournal.com]

Rio never had one, unless you count her binky, and she did not start using the binky until she was 16 months old.

[orchid-and-wasp.livejournal.com]

I never had one either.

[legitimatelove.livejournal.com]

None of my boys did, either. Wait, that's not true...Sam adopted one of our sheet sets after we got married, and when it's around and he's tired he snuggles with it, but he doesn't actively search it out or freak out if its not around or we can't find it.

Tommy never had anything, nor has Max. We actually got Max a little bear for "Easter" to aid in him sleeping alone is his crib. He likes it, but he's certainly not *attached* to it.

[legitimatelove.livejournal.com]

Oh, and I also never had one.

[lapsedmodernist.livejournal.com]

yeah, Fionn doesn't have much interest in soft toys. The closest thing he has to a transitional object is a cardboard cute he chews ecstatically.

[amberskyfire.livejournal.com]

I've read any kind of attached parenting does that. Kids who don't attach to their parents find comfort in objects and then attach to those instead. Maybe that's why. Then again, I don't think I had a comfort object, either except maybe a bottle.

[lapsedmodernist.livejournal.com]

I think we are more AP than conventional parents, but on a need-to basis, rather than uniformly and consistently. like, we'll bring him to sleep with us if he wakes up in the middle of the night crying, otherwise he sleeps on his own. we had to let him "cry it out" a number of times, not because we are for it, but because, especially when he was younger, he would get sleepy and start crying really hard, and at that point holding him or rocking him would exacerbate and prolong the hysteria so that it would last a good part of an hour, whereas putting him down and leaving him alone would result in 5 minutes or so of crying, after which he would conk out. So I dunno. We definitely are attuned to his needs, but we aren't by the book AP. From what I read about transitional objects, they are about babies realizing that the mother is separate from them (which even the most attached mother will be) and learning that they don't have subjective omnipotence--where they believe that their desires themselves produce satisfaction (i.e. mother appearing and fulfilling all their needs).

[missmimesis.livejournal.com]

maybe he kept it secret from you?? ;-)

I'm in wellesley through monday probably...do you have any time sunday afternoon/evening for a visit? I know it's a busy weekend but I would love to see you and Fionn even briefly...

[lapsedmodernist.livejournal.com]

hey, sorry, this weekend was no good, I was overcommitted. I hope to make it to NYC early in May...were you doing Seder with the fam?

[cascadianista.livejournal.com]

unrelated: http://www.mindhacks.com/blog/2008/04/human_terrain_system.html

[bouncingleaf.livejournal.com]

I would just like to point out that the first graphic on the Wikipedia "transitional object" page is really creepy.

[lapsedmodernist.livejournal.com]

omg it totally is. yeesh!