HATER'S GUIDE: 2005
Feb. 19th, 2005 12:40 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lapsedmodernistSomeone posted this rant on craigslist, and it is one of the most brilliant things I have ever read. I wish I knew the person who penned this so that I could buy them a beer and possibly marry them.
It is readily apparent that CL is full of haters of all types,
however, what is only apparent after intensive examination of these
haters is that they are operating far outside the mainstream of
Hateration. These haters are rogues, unfit for true hating, because
they lack the proper tools to effectively hate and discriminate.
Recently I've seen posts such as "white people have B.O.", or "gay
people like cheese". This is insanity. How can you be an effective
hater with hating methods that fall so far outside the mainstream? So,
to alleviate the ignorance of improper hatred I am releasing this
guide. The Hater's Guide: 2005.
Firstly we shall cover the tenets of hating:
- Hating works most effectively when it is concentrated. Did a black
person ever bump into you in the subway? Obviously the solution is to
spew unmitigated venom at all black people. It would be senseless and
counterproductive to, say, be bumped into by a black person and then
go off on a rant about the sexual (in)abilities of Asians.
- Hating requires an in-group, out-group dichotomy. Though some
unconventional haters will hate on what would be their in-group, a
traditional hater must always direct his anger towards members of
society that fit into his out-group.
- Any sense of vocabulary, grammar, scientific reasoning, or any other
such malarkey must be discarded prior to constructing your hating
rant. If you incorporate these volatile elements into your hateration
you can easily reach a critical mass of conflicting components. This
will lead to your rant exploding all up in your shit.
Group structures:
As we covered earlier, hating requires an in-group/out-group structure
to work most effectively. Below is a listing of potential groups to
hate on, and the most effective known arsenal that can be directed at
each group.
Asians – Asians, due to their sneaky, underhanded nature, have
preemptively entrenched themselves against many of the more common
forms of Hateration. By cultivating a 'model minority' image, Asians
have precluded themselves from being hated on for being stupid,
unproductive members of society (though this form of hating can still
be applied to other groups). The important thing to remember about
Asians is that their eyes are not like yours. Their eyes, as a matter
of fact, are slanting every which-way! Furthermore, Asians are known
to eat all manner of strange beasts, most importantly for our purposes
dogs and cats. Pay no mind to the fact that food you commonly consume
is considered to be sacred or disgusting in other cultures – those
people are all a bunch of goddamn animals anyway! What matters here is
that these people are eating animals that, while made of meat and
completely edible, are not commonly consumed in our society.
To most effectively hate on Asians one must divide the Asian group by
gender. Gender-specific Asian Hateration has been known to be some of
the most effective Hateration in existence – as evidenced by the sheer
number of posts on this forum dealing with the matter. First we will
deal with males – Asian males are effeminate. I don't care if he
played football and weighs 225 pounds. He is an effeminate no-balls
kinda guy. Asian males do not have sex, and in fact the entire Asian
population only continues to exist due to the amazing-yet-ancient
technologies that the Japanese have invented and disseminated to the
Asian population. Without these technologies the Asians would quickly
die off, as no Asian male is actually capable of sex. Further along
this line of thought, one must continually remember to assault the
Asian penis size. Asians, universally, have miniscule penises. It
doesn't matter that Asians raised in the U.S. are taller than Asians
raised in Southeast Asia – diet controlling physical factors is
complete bullshit! When it comes to Asian penises there is no variance
– the universal size is 'small'.
As for Asian females, the picture is equally bleak. Not only are these
specimens so incredibly submissive that many of them are unable to
speak in anything other than a soft whisper, they also have the
propensity to engage in coitus with any willing male of the white
race. Just yesterday I saw five Asian females working their mouths
over the phallus of some suited white man on the subway. This type of
activity is never motivated by attraction, love, or desire for
affection but rather solely by a deeply seated desire to be accepted
by the white race. If you see an Asian female with a white male, she
is a sellout who is having sex with this man with some desperate hope
that when his semen shoots onto her face that it will chemically react
with her skin, thus turning her into a roundeye. It is inconsequential
how they met, whether they are in love, or if it is really any of your
damn business – what counts is that they are together, and you are a
hater. By appearing in public with her white boyfriend, the Asian
female is only exposing the truth: her burning desire to become a yang
gwai tzu. As a bonus, if the white male is in your out-group you can
rest assured that he is only dating an Asian female because he has a
small penis and has a fetish.
Arabs – Arabs are, by and large, a group of psychotic murderers. They
may seem innocent enough, with their swarthy appeal, but it is well
known that they are genetically predisposed towards killing the
infidel. This point was driven home most impressively on September
11th, when every Arab in the entire world attacked and destroyed the
World Trade Center towers, the Pentagon, and a field in Pennsylvania.
While some forms of Hateration can be applied to Arabs – they are
brown, after all, and therefore smelly – the most appropriate in this
day and age is to imply that they are attempting to kill you. This can
work doubly well, in fact, as implying this will blow their cover –
and we all know that Arab terror cells cannot operate without
appropriate cover. So, in fact, this type of Hateration can actually
save one's life from what could otherwise quite possibly be death at
the hands of an otherwise professional co-worker. Arabs, like Asians,
are very crafty. An Arab you are hating on may try some commonly used
defenses: "Actually I'm very secular, I respect other's rights to
believe or not believe as they see fit." Or "Dude, I'm an atheist." Or
"Hey man, I grew up in this country just like you." Pure unmitigated
bullshit. It is well known that every Arab has an often-unseen but
seething hatred for Freedom and America. Scientists have even recently
discovered a new particle, the "anti-freedon" which is produced in the
Arab pituitary gland. The existence of these particles proves that
even the most secular, Americanized Arab is unavoidably prone to
hating freedom and apple pie.
Blacks – One of the most prevalent races in America, the blacks were,
pre-9/11, the scourge of American society. Blacks are, at heart,
criminals, and they will stop at nothing to pursue their desire to
steal and rape. In fact, any time a black man has sex, it is, by
definition, rape. Signed legal forms of consent are nothing – a black
man is incapable of non-rape sex. While some blacks appear to have
'made it' in our society, this is a sham. Blacks can find outlets in
sports or entertainment, but those are the only realms in which they
succeed. If you see a black guy in a suit walking out of a law firm,
briefcase in hand, and then getting into his BMW 7-series obviously
what you have just witnessed is a criminal stepping out after getting
some legal advice on how to deal with his 15 charges of rape and
murder, before stealing someone's BMW. He probably stole the suit too.
Blacks are incapable of speaking the English language – only a
bastardized version of it known as 'ebonics'. Ebonics is a bankrupt
series of barks and grunts, and it takes little brainpower to
determine the hundreds of slang expressions used in ebonics, as any
40-year-old white man can easily spout out a long conversation in
street-slang with ease. Furthermore, blacks are incapable of success
in America, despite having every opportunity and advantage that every
other race has. When you see a black person who has not succeeded in
America, scoff at him and remember comfortably that if your race were
brutally oppressed and enslaved for centuries and your very culture
destroyed in the process, it would only take your race about 15
minutes to recover because of the permeating presence of the American
Dream.
Gays – In recent years things had been looking better for the gays.
Fortunately we have a large contingent of the population, lead by a
certain individual, working hard to revive he type of Hateration
towards gays that seemed so comfortably common only a decade ago. Gay
males have attempted to cast off their image as effeminate nancy-boys
by doing such things as taking up dangerous jobs where your primary
responsibility is to kill human beings, or by lifting weights until
they become as big as (or just outright become) an NFL linebacker.
This is all a bunch of horseshit, as everybody knows simply that all
gay males are prancing sissies. Conversely, gay females are
ball-crushing bull dykes who long ago shat out any semblance of
femininity they had onto the chest of some male who they had
castrated. Gays, across genders, have diseases. Most commonly gays
have AIDS – I believe roughly 95% of them do at this point, and they
are only getting it faster, regardless of what any recent statistical
analysis has to say about the explosion of AIDS in other groups. Gays
are also promiscuous – did you know that gays actually have five sets
of genitalia in order to facilitate having sex with between five and
eight partners at a time! This also aids (ha ha!) gays in their
unending desire to spread disease and plague upon all of humanity.
Also they dress well, but only fags care about that.
Whites – Many people foolishly believe that because whites are the
dominant race in our society that they are somehow immune to
hateration. Nonsense, my friend! There are plenty of great reasons to
hate the White Devil. Did you know that white people raped your
ancestors? No? Well, it's probably true. After all, it is well known
by historians that the invention of white people ushered in a new era
of debauched death and destruction in our world. Previously humans had
lived in peace, trading and laughing with each other while they
skipped across their fields. This all changed once the whites showed
up. Borne out of the maggot-encrusted birth canal of Satan's anus the
white race has plagued humanity for centuries. Originally their
primary goal was to kill each other, which would have been a great
idea, but eventually that waned into something more of a "let's kill
everyone else" type deal. They have put forth every effort to oppress,
dehumanize, and destroy anything in their path. So, if you see a white
person on the street, why not express the anger handed down to you by
your ancestors to them! Are you black? There are plenty of 200-plus
year old former-slave-owning white people around who (remarkably) look
like they are only 20-40! Were your ancestors from Asia, Africa, North
America, South America, or Australia? Guess what – the white people
you see walking around today personally killed every last one of them!
Let them know that you're on to their racist assess. Let them know
that, in the end, no matter what they do, they can't dance.
(Subcategorisations – a quick guide to specific white person hating)
French – Alcoholics. French people are weak, despite having conquered
Europe. They enjoy cheese and wine, the food and drink of the Modern
Pussy. They also, despite every advantage of modern hygiene, are
filthy. Their language is for dorks too.
Germans – Germans, while not weak like the French, are murderous Nazi
maniacs. In infancy they have difficulty learning to crawl and walk,
but no trouble at all learning to lockstep. Germans often try to stuff
entire ethnic groups into ovens and kill them all off. They also like
to shit on each other in their pornography. Also they are alcoholics.
British – Alcoholics. These people are some of the most successful
oppressors in the history of man, mostly due to their lack of dental
hygiene. They are humorless and stiff, and are known to often be date
rapists. They cannot cook.
Irish – Glug glug glug. The saying goes "God invented beer so the
Irish wouldn't take over the world." It worked remarkably well. (note:
these people also smell, and you cannot understand what they are
saying.)
Jews – How could anyone hate on a group of moneylending cheapskates
with an uber-victim mentality? Easy! Just remember next time 'Yom
Kippur' comes up that this holiday, in Hebrew, means "Time to drink
some Palestinian blood, y'all!"
Hispanics – The Hispanic people represent a major paradox in our
world, and in fact, it only appears that way. Firstly we should get
out of the way that Hispanics are womanizers and criminals. They often
get into knife fights whilst catcalling women on the street. They are
also notoriously unemployed. Frequently they will steal from
department stores – but a far more important theft than that is the
theft of our jobs. While it may seem contradictory that Hispanics
could both take our jobs while also being unemployed (and thus having
time to do all the various sundry activities they engage in) a simple
look at particle physics can provide an insightful explanation.
Hispanics are a quantum race. This grants them many properties, most
importantly of which is that their exact location and velocity can
never both be known at the same time. This is known as "El Heisenberg
Uncertainty Principle Del Grande". Hispanics are fully capable of
being both unemployed AND taking our jobs at the same time! It seems
paradoxical, but I will attempt to explain – when a Hispanic gets a
job it directly conflicts with his lounging Hispanic lifestyle.
Because of this, the Hispanic will naturally drop into a Superstate of
both having a job AND not having a job SIMULTANEOUSLY! Amazingly, this
allows Hispanics to go to work at their labor-intensive yet
undervalued jobs and simultaneously go off and rob a liquor store or
sell weed to your children. They can literally exist in two places at
the same time. On top of that, they smell badly.
Indians – Obviously the first and foremost issue with Indians is that
they are brown. As we have established, brownness leads to smelliness,
and the Indians are very good in this realm. Still, there are some
lesser-known but very effective reasons to hate on the Indians. Did
you know that Indians, like salmon, must return to their birthplace in
order to breed? Yes, you heard it here first – 7-11s and gas stations
are the breeding grounds for the next generation of Indians. Did you
also know that Indians have dots on their heads? This leads one to an
incredibly clever epithet that is still fifteen billion million uses
away from being tired. Did you know that Indians do not worship the
benevolent Christian God, but instead choose to worship deities that
sometimes have as many as five hundred arms? That just ain't right,
you know it, and I know it. Most importantly: Indians eat (and don't
eat!) very strange foods. They have 'curry' which is a mixture of
gasoline, ether, and feces. They also refuse to eat cows because for
some reason they consider these beasts to be sacred – so much so that
Indians will often give their homes and all their possessions to cows.
(note: Indians and Arabs, though differentiated by to some degree by
their propensity to commit acts of terrorism, are essentially the same
thing. If you run low on ammunition during a fierce conflict with
these bizarre backwards people you can, in a pinch, pull out an extra
clip of Arab Hateration to re-up.)
Thank you all for giving me audience, I will publish additions to this
guide as necessary. Please feel free to email me if you need
assistance in getting your hate-on.
PS – enough with the racist bullshit. Enough with all this
unscientific nonsense you fucks keep spewing every goddamn day. Oooh
ooh, I hate black people! Woo I'm so fucking proud of you, go jump off
a bridge. Aznz R sluts!1 Wow, how fucking insightful, how did you
structure your study of this topic? Oh anecdotal evidence? Wow fucking
publish it in a peer reviewed journal, you're on the way to making a
big name for yourself!
Do you morons believe in evolution? Yes? Get a fucking clue? Do you
think your racist beliefs have any scientific (i.e. – real,
measurable) meaning whatsoever? Do you shitheads think that the Sun
revolves around the Earth? Did you fucking graduate high school, and,
if not, why the fuck do they let people like you on the Internet?
I'm sick of this shit. You want to analyze race relations in the U.S.?
Fine. Do it in an intelligent and insightful manner, not this tripe –
may as well be spam – that I see on here every damn day.
It is readily apparent that CL is full of haters of all types,
however, what is only apparent after intensive examination of these
haters is that they are operating far outside the mainstream of
Hateration. These haters are rogues, unfit for true hating, because
they lack the proper tools to effectively hate and discriminate.
Recently I've seen posts such as "white people have B.O.", or "gay
people like cheese". This is insanity. How can you be an effective
hater with hating methods that fall so far outside the mainstream? So,
to alleviate the ignorance of improper hatred I am releasing this
guide. The Hater's Guide: 2005.
Firstly we shall cover the tenets of hating:
- Hating works most effectively when it is concentrated. Did a black
person ever bump into you in the subway? Obviously the solution is to
spew unmitigated venom at all black people. It would be senseless and
counterproductive to, say, be bumped into by a black person and then
go off on a rant about the sexual (in)abilities of Asians.
- Hating requires an in-group, out-group dichotomy. Though some
unconventional haters will hate on what would be their in-group, a
traditional hater must always direct his anger towards members of
society that fit into his out-group.
- Any sense of vocabulary, grammar, scientific reasoning, or any other
such malarkey must be discarded prior to constructing your hating
rant. If you incorporate these volatile elements into your hateration
you can easily reach a critical mass of conflicting components. This
will lead to your rant exploding all up in your shit.
Group structures:
As we covered earlier, hating requires an in-group/out-group structure
to work most effectively. Below is a listing of potential groups to
hate on, and the most effective known arsenal that can be directed at
each group.
Asians – Asians, due to their sneaky, underhanded nature, have
preemptively entrenched themselves against many of the more common
forms of Hateration. By cultivating a 'model minority' image, Asians
have precluded themselves from being hated on for being stupid,
unproductive members of society (though this form of hating can still
be applied to other groups). The important thing to remember about
Asians is that their eyes are not like yours. Their eyes, as a matter
of fact, are slanting every which-way! Furthermore, Asians are known
to eat all manner of strange beasts, most importantly for our purposes
dogs and cats. Pay no mind to the fact that food you commonly consume
is considered to be sacred or disgusting in other cultures – those
people are all a bunch of goddamn animals anyway! What matters here is
that these people are eating animals that, while made of meat and
completely edible, are not commonly consumed in our society.
To most effectively hate on Asians one must divide the Asian group by
gender. Gender-specific Asian Hateration has been known to be some of
the most effective Hateration in existence – as evidenced by the sheer
number of posts on this forum dealing with the matter. First we will
deal with males – Asian males are effeminate. I don't care if he
played football and weighs 225 pounds. He is an effeminate no-balls
kinda guy. Asian males do not have sex, and in fact the entire Asian
population only continues to exist due to the amazing-yet-ancient
technologies that the Japanese have invented and disseminated to the
Asian population. Without these technologies the Asians would quickly
die off, as no Asian male is actually capable of sex. Further along
this line of thought, one must continually remember to assault the
Asian penis size. Asians, universally, have miniscule penises. It
doesn't matter that Asians raised in the U.S. are taller than Asians
raised in Southeast Asia – diet controlling physical factors is
complete bullshit! When it comes to Asian penises there is no variance
– the universal size is 'small'.
As for Asian females, the picture is equally bleak. Not only are these
specimens so incredibly submissive that many of them are unable to
speak in anything other than a soft whisper, they also have the
propensity to engage in coitus with any willing male of the white
race. Just yesterday I saw five Asian females working their mouths
over the phallus of some suited white man on the subway. This type of
activity is never motivated by attraction, love, or desire for
affection but rather solely by a deeply seated desire to be accepted
by the white race. If you see an Asian female with a white male, she
is a sellout who is having sex with this man with some desperate hope
that when his semen shoots onto her face that it will chemically react
with her skin, thus turning her into a roundeye. It is inconsequential
how they met, whether they are in love, or if it is really any of your
damn business – what counts is that they are together, and you are a
hater. By appearing in public with her white boyfriend, the Asian
female is only exposing the truth: her burning desire to become a yang
gwai tzu. As a bonus, if the white male is in your out-group you can
rest assured that he is only dating an Asian female because he has a
small penis and has a fetish.
Arabs – Arabs are, by and large, a group of psychotic murderers. They
may seem innocent enough, with their swarthy appeal, but it is well
known that they are genetically predisposed towards killing the
infidel. This point was driven home most impressively on September
11th, when every Arab in the entire world attacked and destroyed the
World Trade Center towers, the Pentagon, and a field in Pennsylvania.
While some forms of Hateration can be applied to Arabs – they are
brown, after all, and therefore smelly – the most appropriate in this
day and age is to imply that they are attempting to kill you. This can
work doubly well, in fact, as implying this will blow their cover –
and we all know that Arab terror cells cannot operate without
appropriate cover. So, in fact, this type of Hateration can actually
save one's life from what could otherwise quite possibly be death at
the hands of an otherwise professional co-worker. Arabs, like Asians,
are very crafty. An Arab you are hating on may try some commonly used
defenses: "Actually I'm very secular, I respect other's rights to
believe or not believe as they see fit." Or "Dude, I'm an atheist." Or
"Hey man, I grew up in this country just like you." Pure unmitigated
bullshit. It is well known that every Arab has an often-unseen but
seething hatred for Freedom and America. Scientists have even recently
discovered a new particle, the "anti-freedon" which is produced in the
Arab pituitary gland. The existence of these particles proves that
even the most secular, Americanized Arab is unavoidably prone to
hating freedom and apple pie.
Blacks – One of the most prevalent races in America, the blacks were,
pre-9/11, the scourge of American society. Blacks are, at heart,
criminals, and they will stop at nothing to pursue their desire to
steal and rape. In fact, any time a black man has sex, it is, by
definition, rape. Signed legal forms of consent are nothing – a black
man is incapable of non-rape sex. While some blacks appear to have
'made it' in our society, this is a sham. Blacks can find outlets in
sports or entertainment, but those are the only realms in which they
succeed. If you see a black guy in a suit walking out of a law firm,
briefcase in hand, and then getting into his BMW 7-series obviously
what you have just witnessed is a criminal stepping out after getting
some legal advice on how to deal with his 15 charges of rape and
murder, before stealing someone's BMW. He probably stole the suit too.
Blacks are incapable of speaking the English language – only a
bastardized version of it known as 'ebonics'. Ebonics is a bankrupt
series of barks and grunts, and it takes little brainpower to
determine the hundreds of slang expressions used in ebonics, as any
40-year-old white man can easily spout out a long conversation in
street-slang with ease. Furthermore, blacks are incapable of success
in America, despite having every opportunity and advantage that every
other race has. When you see a black person who has not succeeded in
America, scoff at him and remember comfortably that if your race were
brutally oppressed and enslaved for centuries and your very culture
destroyed in the process, it would only take your race about 15
minutes to recover because of the permeating presence of the American
Dream.
Gays – In recent years things had been looking better for the gays.
Fortunately we have a large contingent of the population, lead by a
certain individual, working hard to revive he type of Hateration
towards gays that seemed so comfortably common only a decade ago. Gay
males have attempted to cast off their image as effeminate nancy-boys
by doing such things as taking up dangerous jobs where your primary
responsibility is to kill human beings, or by lifting weights until
they become as big as (or just outright become) an NFL linebacker.
This is all a bunch of horseshit, as everybody knows simply that all
gay males are prancing sissies. Conversely, gay females are
ball-crushing bull dykes who long ago shat out any semblance of
femininity they had onto the chest of some male who they had
castrated. Gays, across genders, have diseases. Most commonly gays
have AIDS – I believe roughly 95% of them do at this point, and they
are only getting it faster, regardless of what any recent statistical
analysis has to say about the explosion of AIDS in other groups. Gays
are also promiscuous – did you know that gays actually have five sets
of genitalia in order to facilitate having sex with between five and
eight partners at a time! This also aids (ha ha!) gays in their
unending desire to spread disease and plague upon all of humanity.
Also they dress well, but only fags care about that.
Whites – Many people foolishly believe that because whites are the
dominant race in our society that they are somehow immune to
hateration. Nonsense, my friend! There are plenty of great reasons to
hate the White Devil. Did you know that white people raped your
ancestors? No? Well, it's probably true. After all, it is well known
by historians that the invention of white people ushered in a new era
of debauched death and destruction in our world. Previously humans had
lived in peace, trading and laughing with each other while they
skipped across their fields. This all changed once the whites showed
up. Borne out of the maggot-encrusted birth canal of Satan's anus the
white race has plagued humanity for centuries. Originally their
primary goal was to kill each other, which would have been a great
idea, but eventually that waned into something more of a "let's kill
everyone else" type deal. They have put forth every effort to oppress,
dehumanize, and destroy anything in their path. So, if you see a white
person on the street, why not express the anger handed down to you by
your ancestors to them! Are you black? There are plenty of 200-plus
year old former-slave-owning white people around who (remarkably) look
like they are only 20-40! Were your ancestors from Asia, Africa, North
America, South America, or Australia? Guess what – the white people
you see walking around today personally killed every last one of them!
Let them know that you're on to their racist assess. Let them know
that, in the end, no matter what they do, they can't dance.
(Subcategorisations – a quick guide to specific white person hating)
French – Alcoholics. French people are weak, despite having conquered
Europe. They enjoy cheese and wine, the food and drink of the Modern
Pussy. They also, despite every advantage of modern hygiene, are
filthy. Their language is for dorks too.
Germans – Germans, while not weak like the French, are murderous Nazi
maniacs. In infancy they have difficulty learning to crawl and walk,
but no trouble at all learning to lockstep. Germans often try to stuff
entire ethnic groups into ovens and kill them all off. They also like
to shit on each other in their pornography. Also they are alcoholics.
British – Alcoholics. These people are some of the most successful
oppressors in the history of man, mostly due to their lack of dental
hygiene. They are humorless and stiff, and are known to often be date
rapists. They cannot cook.
Irish – Glug glug glug. The saying goes "God invented beer so the
Irish wouldn't take over the world." It worked remarkably well. (note:
these people also smell, and you cannot understand what they are
saying.)
Jews – How could anyone hate on a group of moneylending cheapskates
with an uber-victim mentality? Easy! Just remember next time 'Yom
Kippur' comes up that this holiday, in Hebrew, means "Time to drink
some Palestinian blood, y'all!"
Hispanics – The Hispanic people represent a major paradox in our
world, and in fact, it only appears that way. Firstly we should get
out of the way that Hispanics are womanizers and criminals. They often
get into knife fights whilst catcalling women on the street. They are
also notoriously unemployed. Frequently they will steal from
department stores – but a far more important theft than that is the
theft of our jobs. While it may seem contradictory that Hispanics
could both take our jobs while also being unemployed (and thus having
time to do all the various sundry activities they engage in) a simple
look at particle physics can provide an insightful explanation.
Hispanics are a quantum race. This grants them many properties, most
importantly of which is that their exact location and velocity can
never both be known at the same time. This is known as "El Heisenberg
Uncertainty Principle Del Grande". Hispanics are fully capable of
being both unemployed AND taking our jobs at the same time! It seems
paradoxical, but I will attempt to explain – when a Hispanic gets a
job it directly conflicts with his lounging Hispanic lifestyle.
Because of this, the Hispanic will naturally drop into a Superstate of
both having a job AND not having a job SIMULTANEOUSLY! Amazingly, this
allows Hispanics to go to work at their labor-intensive yet
undervalued jobs and simultaneously go off and rob a liquor store or
sell weed to your children. They can literally exist in two places at
the same time. On top of that, they smell badly.
Indians – Obviously the first and foremost issue with Indians is that
they are brown. As we have established, brownness leads to smelliness,
and the Indians are very good in this realm. Still, there are some
lesser-known but very effective reasons to hate on the Indians. Did
you know that Indians, like salmon, must return to their birthplace in
order to breed? Yes, you heard it here first – 7-11s and gas stations
are the breeding grounds for the next generation of Indians. Did you
also know that Indians have dots on their heads? This leads one to an
incredibly clever epithet that is still fifteen billion million uses
away from being tired. Did you know that Indians do not worship the
benevolent Christian God, but instead choose to worship deities that
sometimes have as many as five hundred arms? That just ain't right,
you know it, and I know it. Most importantly: Indians eat (and don't
eat!) very strange foods. They have 'curry' which is a mixture of
gasoline, ether, and feces. They also refuse to eat cows because for
some reason they consider these beasts to be sacred – so much so that
Indians will often give their homes and all their possessions to cows.
(note: Indians and Arabs, though differentiated by to some degree by
their propensity to commit acts of terrorism, are essentially the same
thing. If you run low on ammunition during a fierce conflict with
these bizarre backwards people you can, in a pinch, pull out an extra
clip of Arab Hateration to re-up.)
Thank you all for giving me audience, I will publish additions to this
guide as necessary. Please feel free to email me if you need
assistance in getting your hate-on.
PS – enough with the racist bullshit. Enough with all this
unscientific nonsense you fucks keep spewing every goddamn day. Oooh
ooh, I hate black people! Woo I'm so fucking proud of you, go jump off
a bridge. Aznz R sluts!1 Wow, how fucking insightful, how did you
structure your study of this topic? Oh anecdotal evidence? Wow fucking
publish it in a peer reviewed journal, you're on the way to making a
big name for yourself!
Do you morons believe in evolution? Yes? Get a fucking clue? Do you
think your racist beliefs have any scientific (i.e. – real,
measurable) meaning whatsoever? Do you shitheads think that the Sun
revolves around the Earth? Did you fucking graduate high school, and,
if not, why the fuck do they let people like you on the Internet?
I'm sick of this shit. You want to analyze race relations in the U.S.?
Fine. Do it in an intelligent and insightful manner, not this tripe –
may as well be spam – that I see on here every damn day.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2005-02-19 06:04 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-02-19 06:07 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-02-19 06:10 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-02-19 07:10 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-02-19 08:03 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-02-19 10:15 pm (UTC)sadly, unlike 18th Century England and Ireland, our culture doesn't have a good grasp of irony. i should know, my non-fictional alter-ego just got fired because of ironic miscommunication. thank god they didn't read my lj or i would've gotten canned a long time ago...
no subject
Date: 2005-02-19 09:23 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-02-19 10:31 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-02-19 10:38 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-02-19 09:42 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-02-19 09:42 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-02-19 10:00 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-02-19 10:44 pm (UTC)I'm off to simultaneously go to a party & work on my thesis!
QUANTUM HISPANIC PAOLA FLIES OFF!
*snort* *hiccup* LOL
no subject
Date: 2005-02-21 01:25 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-02-21 04:07 pm (UTC)b. I actually tried emailing the craiglist address at the top of the post to say how much I enjoyed it, but it got bounced, because, I guess, the post was too old and was only still up because it was on the Best Of board.
no subject
Date: 2005-02-21 02:16 am (UTC)>and possibly marry them.
i was at the bar when they wrote this. although, like you, they have
quite specific criteria about whom they would possibly consider
joining in a group marriage, you have met two of those criteria by
recognizing their collective brilliance and by offering to buy them
beers, presumably the brands they love and do not hate. step two:
list the beers that you would buy them. they have told me that they
will give your list due consideration. you didn't think it was going
to be all one way, did you?
no subject
Date: 2005-02-21 04:09 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-02-22 02:34 am (UTC)i probably shouldn't try humor. it's so contextual.
i apologize for the confusion. seriously.
> taking the piss?
hmm. i must have missed that line. just as well, because i have know idea what it means, idiomatically speaking.
grammar alert
Date: 2005-02-22 02:37 am (UTC)or, i was just...
> i have know idea...
and, i have no idea...
no subject
Date: 2005-02-24 02:23 am (UTC)"how to destroy the earth": http://ned.ucam.org/~sdh31/misc/destroy.html