I woke up to this

[lapsedmodernist]

Congress passes `doomsday' plan

WASHINGTON - With no fanfare, the U.S. House has passed a controversial doomsday provision that would allow a handful of lawmakers to run Congress if a terrorist attack or major disaster killed or incapacitated large numbers of congressmen.

You know, this is kind of like the shadow government--anyone remember The Shadow Government "contingency" plan implemented by The Shrub after 9/11? The one that Congress didn't know about, in a kind of retro throwback to the secret bombing of Laos and Cambodia. You know, when it comes to important unilateral policy decisions, they really treat Congress like mushrooms: keep it in the dark and feed it shit. It makes me feel better that on Really Important Matters the elected^* representitives of the public get the same treatment as the public. That is true democracy. Anyway, it's kind of like Kissinger's liarpolitik but with a more apocalyptic stink to the whole thing. Fortunately, The Rapture Index tells us that despite high measurements in the "wild weather," "apostasy," "mark of the beast"^** and "civil rights"(???) categories the end isn't quite as nigh as it was shortly after na-na-la-la (TM for 9/11, universaldonor)

See? Rapture Index Does Statistics:

2002 High 179 : 2002 Low 161
2003 High 177 : 2003 Low 133
2004 High 157 : 2004 Low 135
2005 High 155 : 2005 High [sic] 152

Record High 182: 24 Sept 01
Record Low 57: 12 Dec 93


Also, the New York Times lets us know that justice is being doled out in the Abu Ghraib torture cases: Using naked and hooded detainees to make a human pyramid was much like what cheerleaders "all over America" do at football games, the lawyer, Guy Womack, argued. Putting naked prisoners on leashes was much like what parents in airports and malls do with their toddlers: "They're not being abused," the lawyer told the jury of 10 soldiers, "they're being kept in control." This is not surprising, since we've already had a preview of this new (yes also retro) brand of Neocon logic in their Camp Fallujah! plan where Bellon asserted that previous attempts to win trust from Iraqis suspicious of US intentions had telegraphed weakness by asking, " 'What are your needs? What are your emotional needs?' All this Oprah [stuff]," he said. "They want to figure out who the dominant tribe is and say, 'I'm with you.' We need to be the benevolent, dominant tribe."

Perhaps in Lager Fallujah they can make a Vernichtung durch Arbeit program and thus complete its transition into a ghost town. Fallujah is totally going to be the new Indian Burial Ground for the next franchise of Steven Segal movies. Woot.


^* I said elected, yo.
^** The Rapture Index comment section on this category elaborates: Wal-mart is falling behind in its plan to bar code all products with radio tags.. Maybe the fundies are onto something there.

Comments

[mysteryjesse.livejournal.com]

I looked through the "rapture index" site... fascinating stuff! among other things, he's convinced the EU is purely a vehicle for satan. and the reincarnation of the roman empire.

did you look at the signs of the apocalypse?

also, I'm enjoying our new digital-buddy system.

[lapsedmodernist.livejournal.com]

I did look at the signs of the Apocalypse, they are fabulous but mostly conjecture--it's not like in the Left Behind series where The Book of Revelations comes literally true, prophecy by prophecy!

what is the digital buddy system??

[mysteryjesse.livejournal.com]

( this is the digital buddy system )

ever hear the story about the left behind series on This American Life?

yours,

jesse