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Jun. 13th, 2006 01:34 pmGiven our recent teeth woes, it is clear that we don't sacrifice enough goats in our household.
I had the pleasure of seeing my gums cut open and peeled back in the "mirror" of a microscope looming over my head during the 60-minute procedure.
I "sang" (as in hummed loudly) various Soviet war songs.
"Ah, what songs you remember," said my Russian orthodontist. "I guess you had a broken childhood too. I thought I was the only one."
Um-mmmm-mmmmm-hhh-eeeeeeee, I hummed, drowning out the drill.
My top lip looks like Angelina Jolie's lips and breasts combined. Also my gums are sown together with black thread. I have Frankengums! Soon they will be animated by lightning, then they will join forces with the army of Malta Goya and Sam Adams bottles that has been assembled on the kitchen counter, and together they will lead charge into Mordor.
I had the pleasure of seeing my gums cut open and peeled back in the "mirror" of a microscope looming over my head during the 60-minute procedure.
I "sang" (as in hummed loudly) various Soviet war songs.
"Ah, what songs you remember," said my Russian orthodontist. "I guess you had a broken childhood too. I thought I was the only one."
Um-mmmm-mmmmm-hhh-eeeeeeee, I hummed, drowning out the drill.
My top lip looks like Angelina Jolie's lips and breasts combined. Also my gums are sown together with black thread. I have Frankengums! Soon they will be animated by lightning, then they will join forces with the army of Malta Goya and Sam Adams bottles that has been assembled on the kitchen counter, and together they will lead charge into Mordor.
