ontogenesis

So since it seems that we have a house religion/cosmology that is equal measures Old/New Testament, Buffy and Bokanism, I figured I would outline the tenets here.

The Children of Mark religion does not proselytize. One cannot convert to it, although one may accept its tenets and thus become an honorary member. However, to be a true member of Children of Mark, one needs to be borne into it. The criteria for membership is having an Eastern European Jewish father named Mark, a non-Jewish mother (a shiksa, or, as is the case with my mom, "more than a shiksa"--on account of her Muslim heritage), and a completely insane family. The original founders of Children of Mark are Claire, Charlie and myself.

Here are our postulates so far. The articulation of this religion is a work in progress.

1) You never know whether your parents are lying to you, or not.

2) There is a specific, certain logic inherent in the Children of Mark experience that is analogous to logic occasionally found in Russian jokes, Harold Pinter plays, and certain selections from the Theater of the Absurd.

3) Just like Angel, of Buffy and Angel, has an evil binary Other named Angelus, we have an evil binary Other named Markus.

4) The first official holiday of the Children of Mark religion is Lehaim Day, which is the birthday of one of the members of the CoM. The birthday of each CoM will be designated as an official CoM holiday, but needs to be articulated on the said day, rather than in advance.

A Selected Dyslexicon

Here are some words/concepts often employed by Children of Mark

1) The Vortex--a metaphysical Power/predicament that bears similarity to Kurt Vonnegut's "karass" from "Cat's Cradle" and is basically the source of coincidences, irony and abject horror. Special skill: the 30-second rule, whereupon mentioning a person summons them.

2) The Void--a more benevolent corollary of The Vortex, that provides things/items/people at the moment when they are needed

3) 37--the number of the Vortex. Sort of like 13 in the world at large.

4) being a Schindler--experiencing guilt at one's own complicity in matchmaking that went terriblty wrong. As in "I could have done more to prevent it"

5) Diachronically Challenged--a state of being, whereupon the person has a perpetual disconnect between the past, the present and the future, thus corrupting their understanding of causality, consistency and responsibility. Most notably, they use diachronically dependent signifiers like "I'll call you" to express a synchronic sentiment "I am having a good time right now in the moment" that will never fulfill its diachronic implication.

6) Metanegativity--a particularly annoying argumentative technique, in which the person in question insists that any sort of argument/discussion is pointless because communication is impossible in some sort of wanky solipsistic reductio ad absurdo.

7) Schrodinger's _______--used when it is unclear whether an event is commencing or not until one engages in it, where any attempts to preemptively define it change the result. So, a Schrodinger's Date (coined by Claire) is a date that's either happenning or not happening, and it's impossible to know which it is, until the proverbial box is open. Some useful applications may be derived from a mixed metaphor of Schrodinger's cat and Pandora's box.

8) Commodeification--sort of like reification, but more on the pomo commotity-fetishism-meets-metaphysics tip. See also pomodeification, pomodification and pomodefecation