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and words are like poison
Apr. 25th, 2002 07:43 pmThis week started off with a mouse inhabtining my bedroom. basically I spent a good party of monday night sitting on my bed in boots, with my legs up, meowing (i am not kidding) hoping that it was familiar with cat sounds and would go away. I think it has relocated to the kitchen.
For some reason I keep reading things this week that are maybe not good for me to read right now. I am hypersensitive to reading material, meaning I am prone to psychosomatizing, I am very impressionable and highly suggestable and a book can alter my whole mood and sometimes i feel like it tranforms my brain structures. I have been feeling very frail lately, which is why i am not sure i should have been reading weber this week, which is basically nietzsche siphoned through sociological heuristic devices. simultaneously, I started reading "the wind-up bird chronicles," finally, at Andi's suggestion, which was not exactly traumatic but definitely disconcerting and surreal in an anxiety-creating way. But today i forgot to take it with me on the train, and during the day I bought "blindness," which i had been meaning to read for a while, and the F train took forever so I started reading it and it is one of the most disturbing visceral emotional freefall into darkness reading experiences I have ever had; basically within reading 60 pages I psychosomatized myself into having a full-blown anxiety attach.
See, I wonder if you could poison people with books...the literalized blueprints are there... Dumas' "Queen Margot" (good movie, better book) when King Charles is poisoned with a gift of a falcon-training hunting manual, the pages of which have been saturated with arsenic and are sticking together so that he has to lick his fingers to turn the pages, or like in "dictionary of the khazars" which has an apocryphal story about a book written in poison ink, so that everyone who read it never got past a certain page. I mean, to find a book exactly appropriate to how the person is fucked up and to drive them crazy...to poison their mind...to make them read something that through coincidence or analogy would make them wonder if the book was penned just for them and create paranoia...if it could trigger thoughts in a direction they would not go in otherwise.
Obviously, my thoughts are far from healthy at the moment.
For some reason I keep reading things this week that are maybe not good for me to read right now. I am hypersensitive to reading material, meaning I am prone to psychosomatizing, I am very impressionable and highly suggestable and a book can alter my whole mood and sometimes i feel like it tranforms my brain structures. I have been feeling very frail lately, which is why i am not sure i should have been reading weber this week, which is basically nietzsche siphoned through sociological heuristic devices. simultaneously, I started reading "the wind-up bird chronicles," finally, at Andi's suggestion, which was not exactly traumatic but definitely disconcerting and surreal in an anxiety-creating way. But today i forgot to take it with me on the train, and during the day I bought "blindness," which i had been meaning to read for a while, and the F train took forever so I started reading it and it is one of the most disturbing visceral emotional freefall into darkness reading experiences I have ever had; basically within reading 60 pages I psychosomatized myself into having a full-blown anxiety attach.
See, I wonder if you could poison people with books...the literalized blueprints are there... Dumas' "Queen Margot" (good movie, better book) when King Charles is poisoned with a gift of a falcon-training hunting manual, the pages of which have been saturated with arsenic and are sticking together so that he has to lick his fingers to turn the pages, or like in "dictionary of the khazars" which has an apocryphal story about a book written in poison ink, so that everyone who read it never got past a certain page. I mean, to find a book exactly appropriate to how the person is fucked up and to drive them crazy...to poison their mind...to make them read something that through coincidence or analogy would make them wonder if the book was penned just for them and create paranoia...if it could trigger thoughts in a direction they would not go in otherwise.
Obviously, my thoughts are far from healthy at the moment.
