You won't get it anyway
Oct. 19th, 2004 02:43 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lapsedmodernistПросыпается Василий Иванович после страшной пьянки. Спрашивает Петьку:
- Слушай кто мне фингал поставил?
Петька говорит:
- Я!
- За что?
Когда ты посуду перебил, я сдержался, но когда ты насрал в угол, повтыкал в говно спичек и сказал: "Этот ежик будет жить с нами!!!" Я не сдержался
The above Russian joke just arrived in my inbox. I will translate it for you people, and even give you context necessary to understand it. But you won't get it anyway.
Okay, so the joke is from the series of jokes about Vasiliy Ivanovich, a.k.a. V.I.Chapayev*, a famous Red Army Commander during the Civil War and a Hero of the Revolution featured in many Soviet films and books. The jokes usually involve him, his right-hand assistant Petka and occasionally Anka who wields a machine gun. Obviously, the jokes are always completely sacrleligious and absurd.
Vasiliy Ivanovich wakes up with a terrible hangover and does not remember anything from the night before. He asks Petka:
-Listen, who gave me a black eye?
Petka says:
-I did.
-For what?
-When you broke all the dishes I contained myself. But when you took a dump in the corner, stuck a bunch of matches into the pile of shit** and said "this hedgehog is going to live with us from now on!" I couldn't help myself.
*
**Soviet/Russian matches are wooden and hard and therefore it would be possible to stick them into shit or anything of analogous viscosity(?).
- Слушай кто мне фингал поставил?
Петька говорит:
- Я!
- За что?
Когда ты посуду перебил, я сдержался, но когда ты насрал в угол, повтыкал в говно спичек и сказал: "Этот ежик будет жить с нами!!!" Я не сдержался
The above Russian joke just arrived in my inbox. I will translate it for you people, and even give you context necessary to understand it. But you won't get it anyway.
Okay, so the joke is from the series of jokes about Vasiliy Ivanovich, a.k.a. V.I.Chapayev*, a famous Red Army Commander during the Civil War and a Hero of the Revolution featured in many Soviet films and books. The jokes usually involve him, his right-hand assistant Petka and occasionally Anka who wields a machine gun. Obviously, the jokes are always completely sacrleligious and absurd.
Vasiliy Ivanovich wakes up with a terrible hangover and does not remember anything from the night before. He asks Petka:
-Listen, who gave me a black eye?
Petka says:
-I did.
-For what?
-When you broke all the dishes I contained myself. But when you took a dump in the corner, stuck a bunch of matches into the pile of shit** and said "this hedgehog is going to live with us from now on!" I couldn't help myself.
*
**Soviet/Russian matches are wooden and hard and therefore it would be possible to stick them into shit or anything of analogous viscosity(?).
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2004-10-19 01:01 pm (UTC)Zzzzzz-drosss-wvitch-iyia!
Coggggggg-dayyyy-LA!
no subject
Date: 2004-10-19 01:02 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-10-19 01:13 pm (UTC)people usually don't get my Russian jokes.
Date: 2004-10-19 03:33 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-10-19 03:33 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-10-19 03:36 pm (UTC)...because you never friended me back.
by way of explanation
Date: 2004-10-19 03:45 pm (UTC)Re: by way of explanation
Date: 2004-10-19 03:49 pm (UTC)In any case I didn't intend it in a much different way than the detourned version of the exact same image that you have on your own user info page.
Re: by way of explanation
Date: 2004-10-20 07:45 am (UTC)Please explain how they are making the same or even a similar statement.
no subject
Date: 2004-10-19 01:36 pm (UTC)i feel bad that our American comrades will read this terrible joke and think Russian humor is in such poor taste :) I feel as though you should have made a disclaimer stating--"typically, Russians are rather witty and sharp (especially the russian-jewish ones, if i may say so myself... and yet on an occasion or two..."
hmm... perhpas i could recall a few of my favorite ones and post them for you to entertain you under the Ecuadorian sky...
no subject
Date: 2004-10-19 03:32 pm (UTC)Maybe it wasn't the wittiest Russian joke ever, but it certainly fits the criteria on the absurdity tip.
no subject
Date: 2004-10-20 09:14 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-10-19 05:55 pm (UTC)ok, here's a contextual joke back for you. it's from the play/movie "the odd couple" by neil simon. it helps to picture oscar's grouchiness and felix's obsessive neatness.
oscar: "You leave little notes on my pillow. 'We're out of cornflakes. F.U.' Took me three hours to figure out F. U. was Felix Unger."
no subject
Date: 2004-10-20 07:44 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-10-19 06:48 pm (UTC)in fact, i could see this joke being played out on "the family guy" with peter in the role of v.i. and brian as petka. i think it works really well in that situation also.
no subject
Date: 2004-10-20 08:05 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-10-19 09:46 pm (UTC)Also, did you really mean that the jokes are always sacrosanct? (I'm hoping you did, but sadly suspect that you didn't).
no subject
Date: 2004-10-19 09:59 pm (UTC)And I found it funny too -- also without knowing exactly why.
no subject
Date: 2004-10-20 07:46 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-10-20 07:43 am (UTC)you know, that is EXACTLY the reaction that
A headline in a Chinese newspaper reads: In retaliation for our nuclear attack, Russia has dropped a giant rubber bomb on Bejing. The bomb has already killed a million people, and it continuies to bounce.
And no,
no subject
Date: 2004-10-20 04:50 pm (UTC)A headline in The London Times reads: In retaliation for our nuclear attack, Russia has dropped a small rubber bomb on London. The bomb has already killed a million people, and it continues to bounce.
no subject
Date: 2004-10-20 06:12 pm (UTC)Dear N,
You don't have to speak Russian, know Soviet history, or even have the Cyrillic font on your computer to understand that, yes, if you stick matches in a pile of shit and call it a hedgehog, it's completely fucking funny.
Anyways, have you heard the deal about the Hylton staff? Apparently if the AAAs proceed as planned, we'll be serviced by scabs. The SF hotel workers are counting on help from the AAA, but they're screwing with y'all too.
no subject
Date: 2004-10-20 06:18 pm (UTC)Um, yeah, about the AAA, I already vented at length about it in response to