Calendar of Events for the RNC
Aug. 12th, 2004 09:12 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lapsedmodernistThis is from The People's Guide to the Republican National Convention.
AUGUST 20
Bike National Convention
Time's Up! bike convergence space [523] • www.times-up.org/bnc
August 20 – August 28, bike tune-ups, workshops, carnival, BBQ, tours
Beyond Bush: An Evening of Visionary Resistance
7p • Hunter Assembly Hall [703] • www.lifeaftercapitalism.org
Rooftop Films: Youth Power
8p • Hudson River Project [704] • www.rooftopfilms.com
Bike Messenger Film Festival
6:30p • meet at Tompkins Square Park [406] to ride over Williamsburg Bridge (P8)
7:30p • 184 Kent Ave, rm 509, Brooklyn (*) • www.nybma.com
AUG 21
Life After Capitalism Conference
CUNY Graduate Center [702] • www.lifeaftercapitalism.org
August 21 – August 22
"Yo! What Happened to Peace" poster exhibit
Stay Gold Gallery/Art Space
451 Grand St, Brooklyn •
718-599-7778 • www.staygoldgallery.com
August 6 – September 5, Sa-Su 12-5p, M-F by appt only
The Really Free Market
3p • location TBA
AUG 22
Yippie Tea Party Protest
8p • Michael Bloomberg's townhouse [269]
refreshments served to protest the city's refusal to give out permits
New York Immigration Coalition action
location TBA • 212-627-2227 • www.thenyic.org
AUG 23
Bushville Tent City and Homeless March/Encampment
Location TBA • www.kwru.org
August 23 – August 30
The Window Treatment
Everywhere
put a noRNC poster in your window through September 2
AUG 24
"Peace Signs: The Anti-War Movement Illustrated" opening
7-9p • Chisholm Gallery [715]
August 24 – September 3, open Tu-Th 11a-6p, F-Sa 1-6p and by appt
Kick Off Party
Webster Hall [701] • www.howlfestival.org
sponsored by High Times and HOWL! Festival
AUG 25
Call To Mutiny magazine launch
location TBA • www.clamormagazine.org
sponsored by Clamor Magazine
The Summer of Love Concert for Equality
6-10p • East Lawn, Central Park (*) • www.summeroflove04.com
AUG 26
DNC2RNC March Arrives in New York City
www.dnc2rnc.org
The Anti-Convention: Live Music
7p • Warsaw, 261 Driggs Ave, Brooklyn (*)
proceeds donated to Not In Our Name
"The Fourth World War" film screening
7p • Anthology Film Archives [710] • www.bignoisefilms.com
presented by Suheir Hammad
AUG 27
Immigrant-Worker Community Speak Out!/Day of Action
4-10p • location TBA • 212-330-8172 • www.ImmigrantSolidarity.org
Critical Mass Ride
7p • Union Square [404] • www.times-up.org
The Anti-Convention: Live Music
7p • Warsaw, 261 Driggs Ave, Brooklyn (*)
proceeds donated to Not In Our Name
Rooftop Films: What Democracy Looks Like short films
8p • Clemente Soto Velez [711] • www.rooftopfilms.com
AUG 28
Books Not Bombs Youth Convergence
9a-6p • St. Mark's Church [802] • www.nyspc.net
New York March and Rally for Women's Lives
11a-4p • Cadman Plaza (*) across Brooklyn Bridge (S6) to City Hall Park [403] • www.ppnyc.org
Green Party Festival
St. Vartan's Park, E 35th St and Second Ave (H11)
Christian Defense Coalition prayer vigil
Seventh Ave (G8)
Middle East Peace Coalition demonstration
Union Square, southeast triangle [404]
Stone Walk arrives in Manhattan
212-598-0963 • www.peacefultomorrows.org
from Boston, pulling a 1400 lb granite memorial honoring the "Unknown Civilians Killed in War." In NYC through Sept. 11.
Ring Out
5:30-7:30p • Ground Zero [401] • www.ringout.org
The Imagine Festival of Arts, Issues & Ideas
various locations • www.imagine04.org
August 28 – September 2
The Fourth World War film screening
7p • Anthology Film Archives [710] • www.bignoisefilms.com
presented by Amy Goodman
Women Against War Concert
7p • Riverside Church, 490 Riverside Dr at 120th St (*) • www.codepink4peace.org
Clamor Magazine party
8p • Southpaw, 125 Fifth Ave, Brooklyn (*) • www.clamormagazine.org
Welcoming party for the news media
Time Warner Building [118]
sponsored by the RNC Host Committee
Barbecue to honor the Latino Congressional Caucus
Gracie Mansion [250]
sponsored by Univision
AUG 29
"Crossing of New York Harbor"
Staten Island Ferry [591] • www.greenedragon.org
Women's Peace Rally and March
11a • Eleanor Roosevelt Statue, Riverside Park at 72nd Street (*) • www.codepink4peace.org
followed by march to join World Says No To The Bush Agenda rally
The World Says No to the Bush Agenda
noon • from W 23rd St and Seventh Ave (H7) uptown past MSG [101], west on 34th St, down West Side Highway to Chambers St (Q3) • www.unitedforpeace.org
Bowery Poetry Club sanctuary opens
24 hours • Bowery Poetry Club [901] • www.bowerypoetry.com
August 29 – September 3
Holy Apostles Church sanctuary opens
4-10p • Holy Apostles Church [902] • www.holyapostlesnyc.org
August 29 – September 3
Cosmopolity Progressive Tourism Bureau opens
10a-10p • The Tank [903] • www.thetanknyc.org
August 29 – September 3
St. Mark's Church sanctuary opens
11a-11p • St. Mark's Church [802] • www.revbilly.com
August 29 – September 3
Welcoming party for New Yorkers and Californians
Ellis Island (ferry tickets at [409])
Party for Log Cabin Republicans
Bryant Park [476]
"Salute to Broadway"
Wonderful Town
5-7:40p • Al Hirschfeld Theatre [131]
for OH, MO, IN, and MI
Bombay Dreams
5-7:35p • Broadway Theatre [132]
for MA, AK, NH, VT, ME, DE, CT, RI, GU, AS, VI, SD, ND, IA
42nd St.
5-7:30p • Ford Center for the Performing Arts [133]
for TX, NE, OK, MT, KS
Beauty And The Beast
5-7:30p • Lunt-Fontanne Theatre [134]
for VA, AB, DC, TN, MD, GA
Phantom of the Opera
5-7:30p • Majestic Theatre [135]
for MN, WI, WV, WA, AR, CO, NM, WY, KY
Fiddler on the Roof
5-7:55 • Minskoff Theatre [136]
for FL, LA, MS, SC, NC
Aida
5-7:30 • Palace Theatre [137]
for CA, NV, OR, AZ, UT, HI
The Lion King
5-7:45 • New Amsterdam Theatre [138]
for IL, NY, PR, NJ, ID, PA
AUG 30
The Naming Project
10a • various locations • www.THAWaction.org
August 30 – September 2, reciting the names of all those killed by US military action since September 11
March on New York: Still We Rise march and rally
1-6p • Union Square [404] up Eighth Ave to 31st St (G7) • www.stillwerise.org
March for Our Lives: Stop the War at Home
4p • United Nations, Dag Hammarskjold Plaza [405] • www.kwru.org
Interfaith Service
7p • Holy Apostles Church [902]
Light Up The Sky
dusk • everywhere • www.lightupthesky.org
Playback Theater Hip Hop Showcase
8p • Southpaw, 125 Fifth Ave, Brooklyn (*) • www playbacknyc.org
"Breakfast at Tiffany's" with Libby Pataki
Tiffany's [109]
Republican National Convention
10a-1p, 8:30-11p • Madison Square Garden [101]
speakers: Michael Bloomberg, Rudy Giuliani, John McCain
"Big Tent Event" sponsored by the Republican Unity Coalition
4p • Bryant Park Grill [117]
Event
7-11p • Rockefeller Center [673]
Post-Convention party for NY/NJ delegations
10p-1a • Cipriani's 42nd Street [111]
AUG 31
Shout Heard Round The World: non-violent direct action
12p • In the streets... • www.shoutheardroundtheworld.org
Health Care Crisis and Election 2004 conference
9a • CUNY Graduate Center [702] • www.cnhpnow.org
August 31 – September 1
Pro-Choice New York rally
5-7p • Union Square [404] • www.naral.org
Interfaith Worship Event
Riverside Church, 490 Riverside Dr @ 120th St (*)
"Ring of Light"
encircling Manhattan
Finance Roundtable
9:30p • Tavern on the Green [108]
sponsored by Bank of Perica
Luncheon
3p • St. Regis Hotel [107]
sponsored by AstraZeneca
Party for New York delegation
4:30-7:30p • Tavern on the Green [108]
sponsored by Kodak
Republican Majority for Choice event
Sky Club • 200 Park Ave (E11)
Republican National Convention
8:30-11p • Madison Square Garden [101]
speakers: Laura Bush, Rod Paige, Arnold Schwarzenegger
Post-Convention party
10p-1p • Noche [116]
sponsored by American Gas Association
SEPT 01
"The Line"
8:13-8:31a • along Broadway, from Wall St (S3) to W 31st St (G8)a single line, everyone with a mock pink slip
Billionaires Flashmob
midday • midtown • www.billionairesforbush.com
Ellen Freudenheim anti-gun-violence display
Union Square Park, South Plaza [404]
Labor Day Rally
4-6p • 30th St and 8th Ave [G7] • www.nycclc.org
Reading of the US Constitution
5p • Cooper Union [719] • 212-420-0440 • www.pfaw.org
National Organization for Women rally
7-9p • location TBA • www.now.org
Who's America? concert
Bowery Ballroom. 6 Delancey St (P7) • www.definitivejux.net
Ring Out
8p-4a • location TBA • www.ringout.org
Billionaires' Ball
The Frying Pan, Pier 63 at 23rd St (G4) • www.billionairesforbush.com
Who's America? concert
8p • Bowery Ballroom, 6 Delancey St (P7) • www.definitivejux.net
Luncheon honoring Jean Hastert
1p • Central Park Boathouse [114]
sponsored by Burlington Northern Santa Fe
Event
4:30-7p • Bryant Park Grill [117]
Event
1:10p • Crobar [113]
sponsored by American Gas Association
Republican National Convention
8:30-11p • Madison Square Garden [101]
speakers: Lynne Cheney, Dick Cheney, Zell Miller
"Los Amigos"
10p-2a • Copacabana [112]
sponsored by Coca-Cola and George Pataki
SEPT 02
Artists and Activists United for Peace rally and parade
3-7p • Harlem State Office Building, 163 W 125th St and Adam Clayton Powell Blvd (*), parade to W 96th St and Central Park West (*) • www.blackwaxx.com/AAUP.htm
Party for New York Delegation
5-7p • Madame Tussaud's [115]
Republican National Convention
8:30-11p • Madison Square Garden [101]
speakers: George Pataki, George W. Bush
Post-Convention party
10p-2am • Water Club [110]
sponsored by Novartis
AUGUST 20
Bike National Convention
Time's Up! bike convergence space [523] • www.times-up.org/bnc
August 20 – August 28, bike tune-ups, workshops, carnival, BBQ, tours
Beyond Bush: An Evening of Visionary Resistance
7p • Hunter Assembly Hall [703] • www.lifeaftercapitalism.org
Rooftop Films: Youth Power
8p • Hudson River Project [704] • www.rooftopfilms.com
Bike Messenger Film Festival
6:30p • meet at Tompkins Square Park [406] to ride over Williamsburg Bridge (P8)
7:30p • 184 Kent Ave, rm 509, Brooklyn (*) • www.nybma.com
AUG 21
Life After Capitalism Conference
CUNY Graduate Center [702] • www.lifeaftercapitalism.org
August 21 – August 22
"Yo! What Happened to Peace" poster exhibit
Stay Gold Gallery/Art Space
451 Grand St, Brooklyn •
718-599-7778 • www.staygoldgallery.com
August 6 – September 5, Sa-Su 12-5p, M-F by appt only
The Really Free Market
3p • location TBA
AUG 22
Yippie Tea Party Protest
8p • Michael Bloomberg's townhouse [269]
refreshments served to protest the city's refusal to give out permits
New York Immigration Coalition action
location TBA • 212-627-2227 • www.thenyic.org
AUG 23
Bushville Tent City and Homeless March/Encampment
Location TBA • www.kwru.org
August 23 – August 30
The Window Treatment
Everywhere
put a noRNC poster in your window through September 2
AUG 24
"Peace Signs: The Anti-War Movement Illustrated" opening
7-9p • Chisholm Gallery [715]
August 24 – September 3, open Tu-Th 11a-6p, F-Sa 1-6p and by appt
Kick Off Party
Webster Hall [701] • www.howlfestival.org
sponsored by High Times and HOWL! Festival
AUG 25
Call To Mutiny magazine launch
location TBA • www.clamormagazine.org
sponsored by Clamor Magazine
The Summer of Love Concert for Equality
6-10p • East Lawn, Central Park (*) • www.summeroflove04.com
AUG 26
DNC2RNC March Arrives in New York City
www.dnc2rnc.org
The Anti-Convention: Live Music
7p • Warsaw, 261 Driggs Ave, Brooklyn (*)
proceeds donated to Not In Our Name
"The Fourth World War" film screening
7p • Anthology Film Archives [710] • www.bignoisefilms.com
presented by Suheir Hammad
AUG 27
Immigrant-Worker Community Speak Out!/Day of Action
4-10p • location TBA • 212-330-8172 • www.ImmigrantSolidarity.org
Critical Mass Ride
7p • Union Square [404] • www.times-up.org
The Anti-Convention: Live Music
7p • Warsaw, 261 Driggs Ave, Brooklyn (*)
proceeds donated to Not In Our Name
Rooftop Films: What Democracy Looks Like short films
8p • Clemente Soto Velez [711] • www.rooftopfilms.com
AUG 28
Books Not Bombs Youth Convergence
9a-6p • St. Mark's Church [802] • www.nyspc.net
New York March and Rally for Women's Lives
11a-4p • Cadman Plaza (*) across Brooklyn Bridge (S6) to City Hall Park [403] • www.ppnyc.org
Green Party Festival
St. Vartan's Park, E 35th St and Second Ave (H11)
Christian Defense Coalition prayer vigil
Seventh Ave (G8)
Middle East Peace Coalition demonstration
Union Square, southeast triangle [404]
Stone Walk arrives in Manhattan
212-598-0963 • www.peacefultomorrows.org
from Boston, pulling a 1400 lb granite memorial honoring the "Unknown Civilians Killed in War." In NYC through Sept. 11.
Ring Out
5:30-7:30p • Ground Zero [401] • www.ringout.org
The Imagine Festival of Arts, Issues & Ideas
various locations • www.imagine04.org
August 28 – September 2
The Fourth World War film screening
7p • Anthology Film Archives [710] • www.bignoisefilms.com
presented by Amy Goodman
Women Against War Concert
7p • Riverside Church, 490 Riverside Dr at 120th St (*) • www.codepink4peace.org
Clamor Magazine party
8p • Southpaw, 125 Fifth Ave, Brooklyn (*) • www.clamormagazine.org
Welcoming party for the news media
Time Warner Building [118]
sponsored by the RNC Host Committee
Barbecue to honor the Latino Congressional Caucus
Gracie Mansion [250]
sponsored by Univision
AUG 29
"Crossing of New York Harbor"
Staten Island Ferry [591] • www.greenedragon.org
Women's Peace Rally and March
11a • Eleanor Roosevelt Statue, Riverside Park at 72nd Street (*) • www.codepink4peace.org
followed by march to join World Says No To The Bush Agenda rally
The World Says No to the Bush Agenda
noon • from W 23rd St and Seventh Ave (H7) uptown past MSG [101], west on 34th St, down West Side Highway to Chambers St (Q3) • www.unitedforpeace.org
Bowery Poetry Club sanctuary opens
24 hours • Bowery Poetry Club [901] • www.bowerypoetry.com
August 29 – September 3
Holy Apostles Church sanctuary opens
4-10p • Holy Apostles Church [902] • www.holyapostlesnyc.org
August 29 – September 3
Cosmopolity Progressive Tourism Bureau opens
10a-10p • The Tank [903] • www.thetanknyc.org
August 29 – September 3
St. Mark's Church sanctuary opens
11a-11p • St. Mark's Church [802] • www.revbilly.com
August 29 – September 3
Welcoming party for New Yorkers and Californians
Ellis Island (ferry tickets at [409])
Party for Log Cabin Republicans
Bryant Park [476]
"Salute to Broadway"
Wonderful Town
5-7:40p • Al Hirschfeld Theatre [131]
for OH, MO, IN, and MI
Bombay Dreams
5-7:35p • Broadway Theatre [132]
for MA, AK, NH, VT, ME, DE, CT, RI, GU, AS, VI, SD, ND, IA
42nd St.
5-7:30p • Ford Center for the Performing Arts [133]
for TX, NE, OK, MT, KS
Beauty And The Beast
5-7:30p • Lunt-Fontanne Theatre [134]
for VA, AB, DC, TN, MD, GA
Phantom of the Opera
5-7:30p • Majestic Theatre [135]
for MN, WI, WV, WA, AR, CO, NM, WY, KY
Fiddler on the Roof
5-7:55 • Minskoff Theatre [136]
for FL, LA, MS, SC, NC
Aida
5-7:30 • Palace Theatre [137]
for CA, NV, OR, AZ, UT, HI
The Lion King
5-7:45 • New Amsterdam Theatre [138]
for IL, NY, PR, NJ, ID, PA
AUG 30
The Naming Project
10a • various locations • www.THAWaction.org
August 30 – September 2, reciting the names of all those killed by US military action since September 11
March on New York: Still We Rise march and rally
1-6p • Union Square [404] up Eighth Ave to 31st St (G7) • www.stillwerise.org
March for Our Lives: Stop the War at Home
4p • United Nations, Dag Hammarskjold Plaza [405] • www.kwru.org
Interfaith Service
7p • Holy Apostles Church [902]
Light Up The Sky
dusk • everywhere • www.lightupthesky.org
Playback Theater Hip Hop Showcase
8p • Southpaw, 125 Fifth Ave, Brooklyn (*) • www playbacknyc.org
"Breakfast at Tiffany's" with Libby Pataki
Tiffany's [109]
Republican National Convention
10a-1p, 8:30-11p • Madison Square Garden [101]
speakers: Michael Bloomberg, Rudy Giuliani, John McCain
"Big Tent Event" sponsored by the Republican Unity Coalition
4p • Bryant Park Grill [117]
Event
7-11p • Rockefeller Center [673]
Post-Convention party for NY/NJ delegations
10p-1a • Cipriani's 42nd Street [111]
AUG 31
Shout Heard Round The World: non-violent direct action
12p • In the streets... • www.shoutheardroundtheworld.org
Health Care Crisis and Election 2004 conference
9a • CUNY Graduate Center [702] • www.cnhpnow.org
August 31 – September 1
Pro-Choice New York rally
5-7p • Union Square [404] • www.naral.org
Interfaith Worship Event
Riverside Church, 490 Riverside Dr @ 120th St (*)
"Ring of Light"
encircling Manhattan
Finance Roundtable
9:30p • Tavern on the Green [108]
sponsored by Bank of Perica
Luncheon
3p • St. Regis Hotel [107]
sponsored by AstraZeneca
Party for New York delegation
4:30-7:30p • Tavern on the Green [108]
sponsored by Kodak
Republican Majority for Choice event
Sky Club • 200 Park Ave (E11)
Republican National Convention
8:30-11p • Madison Square Garden [101]
speakers: Laura Bush, Rod Paige, Arnold Schwarzenegger
Post-Convention party
10p-1p • Noche [116]
sponsored by American Gas Association
SEPT 01
"The Line"
8:13-8:31a • along Broadway, from Wall St (S3) to W 31st St (G8)a single line, everyone with a mock pink slip
Billionaires Flashmob
midday • midtown • www.billionairesforbush.com
Ellen Freudenheim anti-gun-violence display
Union Square Park, South Plaza [404]
Labor Day Rally
4-6p • 30th St and 8th Ave [G7] • www.nycclc.org
Reading of the US Constitution
5p • Cooper Union [719] • 212-420-0440 • www.pfaw.org
National Organization for Women rally
7-9p • location TBA • www.now.org
Who's America? concert
Bowery Ballroom. 6 Delancey St (P7) • www.definitivejux.net
Ring Out
8p-4a • location TBA • www.ringout.org
Billionaires' Ball
The Frying Pan, Pier 63 at 23rd St (G4) • www.billionairesforbush.com
Who's America? concert
8p • Bowery Ballroom, 6 Delancey St (P7) • www.definitivejux.net
Luncheon honoring Jean Hastert
1p • Central Park Boathouse [114]
sponsored by Burlington Northern Santa Fe
Event
4:30-7p • Bryant Park Grill [117]
Event
1:10p • Crobar [113]
sponsored by American Gas Association
Republican National Convention
8:30-11p • Madison Square Garden [101]
speakers: Lynne Cheney, Dick Cheney, Zell Miller
"Los Amigos"
10p-2a • Copacabana [112]
sponsored by Coca-Cola and George Pataki
SEPT 02
Artists and Activists United for Peace rally and parade
3-7p • Harlem State Office Building, 163 W 125th St and Adam Clayton Powell Blvd (*), parade to W 96th St and Central Park West (*) • www.blackwaxx.com/AAUP.htm
Party for New York Delegation
5-7p • Madame Tussaud's [115]
Republican National Convention
8:30-11p • Madison Square Garden [101]
speakers: George Pataki, George W. Bush
Post-Convention party
10p-2am • Water Club [110]
sponsored by Novartis
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2004-08-12 06:59 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-08-12 07:13 pm (UTC)some of the things announced are performative things that need spectators, rather than participants at this point, such as the Green Demon who are doing stuff like the recreation of Paul Revere's ride and the crossing of NY Harbor in "the Battle of New Yorktown" in full olde tyme costume. Groups like Billionaires for Bush are also organizing highly performative, in-costume events, althouth they will be having a march and a flash-mob as well.
Obviously, the UFPJ march will the the huge march. There will be lots of various groups engaging in direct action and civil disobedience on the 31st (a31.org)...you should definitely try to come to the 4th World War Screening if you can, it will be screened several times over the course of the week...
the Howl festival on the 24th (http://www.howlfestival.org/) will be a big event and I'm sure there will be tons of groups tabling and flyering and you could get a sense of what will be happening in the next couple of days that you would be interested in participating in...
And feel free to email me at lafemmnica@aol.com if you have any questions...I may not be able to answer all of them, but I'd be happy to try, at least about the projects I am involved with or know about.
no subject
Date: 2004-08-13 12:13 am (UTC)Republican Convention Schedule
6:00pm - Confederate Flag raising ceremony.
6:30pm - Homeland Security Terror Alert UPDATE!(No Change to status)
6:40pm - Jenna Bush sings Britney Spears Parody "I'm not that Innocent".
7:00pm - Gay Bashing Ceremony.
7:10pm - Abortion Clinic burning Ceremony.
7:25pm - WoMD Scavenger Hunt
7:45pm - Homeland Security Terror Alert #2. (No Change to Status)
7:59pm - Colin Powell and Condoleezza Rice present "Blacks who Support Bush"
8:00pm - Halliburton presents "Man of the Year" award to Dick Cheney.
8:30pm - Billy Graham attempts to exorcise the gay ghosts haunting Mary Cheney
9:00pm - Wish list Reading of 101 Constitutional Amendments- By Bill Frist
9:30pm - * Intermission *
Bush's Twin Daughters Jenna and Barbara dressed in Orange Hooters Girls outfits serving up Hot wings and drinks. Offer tequila body shots for $5.00 campaign donations
10:00pm - Roger Rupert performs standup comedy with Alan Colmes puppet.
10:15pm - Homeland Security Terror Alert #3. (No Change to Status)
10:30pm - Sean Hannity & Anne Coulter perform Sonny/Cher parody "I got you Baby".
10:40pm - Rush Limbaugh on low cost pharmaceuticals.
10:50pm - Pat Boone reading of scripture.
11:00pm - Katherine Harris presentation "Maximizing the Florida Vote"
11:15PM - Terror Alert Workshop "10 Ways to Scare Swing Voters"
11:30pm - Tribute to George W. Bush's National Guard Service
11:31pm - Freddy Fender sings "Wasted Days and Wasted Nights" dedicated to Bush's Life in 70's
11:40pm - Homeland Security Terror Alert #4 (No Change to Status)
12:00pm - Nomination of John McCain as the republican candidate.
no subject
Date: 2004-08-13 12:51 am (UTC)Have You Seen This One???
Date: 2004-08-13 06:57 am (UTC)CONVENTION SCHEDULE
New York, NY
August 30th - September 2nd, 2004
6:00 AM Opening Prayer led by the Reverend Jerry Fallwell
6:30 AM Pledge of Allegiance
6:35 AM Burning of Bill of Rights (excluding 2nd amendment)
6:45 AM Salute to the Coalition of the Willing
6:46 AM Seminar #1 - Getting your kid a military deferment
7:30 AM First Presidential Beer Bong
7:35 AM Serve Freedom Fries
7:40 AM EPA Address #1 - Mercury, it's what's for dinner.
8:00 AM Vote on which country to invade next
8:10 AM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh
8:15 AM John Ashcroft Lecture: The Homos are after your children
8:30 AM Round table discussion on reproductive rights (MEN only)
8:50 AM Seminar #2 - Corporations: the government of the future
9:00 AM Condi Rice sings "Can't Help Lovin' Dat Man"
9:05 AM Second Presidential Beer Bong
9:10 AM EPA Address #2 - Trees: the real cause of forest fires
9:30 AM Break for secret meetings
10:00 AM Second prayer led by Cal Thomas
10:15 AM Lecture by Carl Rove - Doublespeak made easy
10:30 AM Rumsfeld demonstration of how to squint and talk macho
10:35 AM Bush demonstration of trademark "deer in headlights"
stare
10:40 AM John Ashcroft demonstrates new mandatory kevlar chastity
belt
10:45 AM Clarence Thomas reads list of black republicans
10:46 AM Third Presidential Beer Bong
10:50 AM Seminar #3 - Education: a drain on our nation's economy.
11:10 AM Hillary Clinton pinata
11:20 AM Second Lecture by John Ashcroft - Evolutionists: The
dangerous new cult
11:30 AM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh again
11:35 AM Blame Clinton
11:40 AM Laura serves milk and cookies
11:50 AM Closing Prayer led by Jesus Himself
12:00 PM Nomination of George W. Bush as Holy Supreme Planetary
Overlord