Lapsed Modernist

I dunno. If The Slumlord has such a hard-on for rodents, he can take care of it. And if not, I guess it's

totalvirility to the rescue. But let's hope it does not come to that, because he will emphatically not want to.

From:

totalvirility.livejournal.com

Isn't there a semi-resident of your place who's more totally virile than me?
Does he have an affinity towards rats?

From:

nooo, he has a phobia of rats. it's moot now anyway.

From:

hold it: you mentioned papa john's pizza, yet i somehow remember thinking you live in NY. Papa John's pizza, hey? Let me talk about Papa John's for a moment, just a moment. Papa John's pizza is, perhaps because I am from the Midwest, the most perfect pizza in the world. It is half influenced by(by my michigan standards) the too-thick chicago-style deep dish, and half-influenced by the new york style, square footage is better, thin as paper but looks like alot to ignorant, rushed achievement-crazy NYc go-getters, pizza diameter is huge, NYC greesy east coast dirtbag ramones slice. Papa John's is halfway between the chicago and new york extremes. papa johns is perfect. Better ingredients, better pizza is a truism. The heart-attack sause, as it is called in Michigan, is seductively indulgent. Papa John is a saint, his pizza is king. Based on all of the above, it is elementary that you live in harlem or morningside heights.

From:

superchango.livejournal.com

Papa John's pizza is, perhaps because I am from the Midwest, the most perfect pizza in the world.

Yeah. Exactly, Midwest.

I guess Taco Bell is the best Mexican food in the world, too, or maybe Chili's (hablas español?) Oh man, I love those McDonald's triple cheeseburgers because it is the meaning of meat.

the new york style, square footage is better, thin as paper but looks like alot to ignorant, rushed achievement-crazy NYc go-getters, pizza diameter is huge, NYC greesy east coast dirtbag ramones slice.

Yeah, dude, you're right, NY sucks. They don't know that bagels are supposed to be fluffy and microwaveable or that pizza is supposed to be dry, fruity and corporate like your ideal man. Whoa, dude. Go Midwest!

From:

And to think that your formative years in America were in the middle of the Midwest.

From:

It’s just that I grew up between New York and Chicago, in Michigan, so I have a natural bias for what is, maybe, jokingly, "Michigan-style" pizza. Michigan style is half-Chicago corrupt black sox meat-packing Mayor Daly mercantile exchange arrogant Belushi if-it-ain’t-broke-don’t-fix-it windy city 3 inch tall 15 lbs. Chicago my-way-or-the-highway home-of-the-blues deep dish grotesquery, where 1 slice is all you can eat, and the brazen new York stop-sign (wide but thin) shyster dirtbag barnum-and-bailey pie.

Oh course I’m biased when I say that Michigan pizza is a rational and altogether reasonable, middle-of-the-road, everything in moderation, proportionally pleasing pizza that strikes a compromise between the rotten apple and the windy city. And I know, selfishly and egotistically, that Papa John’s represents this harmonious and reasonable pizza. Is Papa John’s from Michigan? I dunno. All I know is that Papa John’s is the pizza that exists in my mind as the platonic idealized pizza. When I picture a pizza in my mind, it is a Papa John’s pizza. Cheese, Small, $5.25.

Some people like Hungry Howies (with Cajun crust), some like Cottage Inn in Ann Arbor, Pizza Papalis in Detroit (which is Chicago style), Papa Romanos, Pizza Hut (uggh), Dominoes (ran by a religious zealot Tom Monahan), Little Caesars (CEO Mike Illich owns the Detroit Tigers or something, the pizza is ok, I like the crazy sticks). People in Chicago love Jeno’s East (deep dish, and that stuff IS fantastic), but I’ll take Papa John’s any day. When my cousin came over from London to visit me in New York, we got Papa John’s and I said to him "this is America’s best pizza." He’s no connoisseur of pizza, I mean, he’s English! but he enjoyed it.

Additionally, last summer I was near Italy (I was in Southern Austria, and in Switzerland) we had pizza made in nice Italian restaurants, made by actual Italians, and it was the flatter, closer to New York style. Eating it with utensils sucked. The cheese was fucking awesome though. In New York, I guess John’s in Manhattan (46th & 9th) is the prototype for all American pizza.

Maybe you can tell me how you appreciate New York style, Super-C? What makes it so good, to you. It’s all subjective, anyway, but if I can read why you like it, see it through your eyes, that’s worthwhile, pizza theory is advanced.

From:

totalvirility.livejournal.com

--OK, I can deal with NY pizza as much as the next person, but let's not give them full credit for pizza authority when Chicago reigns supreme pizza champion of the universe.

I don't know about this Elvis-person's assertions that the middle-ground is best, but Chicago's deep-dish, heart-blocking pizza is hearty, hearty fare, far superior to the greasy, floppy shit offered up to and sworn by New Yorkers. While there are some decent places, as a whole NY pizza is not as flavorful, satisfying or substantial as its Chicago cousin.

The midwest does a few things right, and one of those things is pizza. Eat some Gino's East, and never go back again.

From:

superchango.livejournal.com

Nutwad? (no entiende inglis)

What the hell is "NY-" anything?

The thing about New York is that you can have ANY KIND OF DAMN PIZZA. I think the whole bullshit "NY style pizza" is just Chicago trying to distinguish itself for SOMETHING, since the POLICE already KILLED everyone INTERESTING (except for Kerry Wood and his cronies).

peace out,

From:

totalvirility.livejournal.com

You can get any kind of pizza in NY, yes, but the only times you vary from an extremely distinguishable 'NY-style pizza' are when you go to those midwest chains that you already disparaged.

Other than that, you have NY-style pizza, i.e. pizza that you get at every single pizza place in NY that doesn't have a sign up advertising its difference-- namely, the large, floppy thin slice you fold up to eat. Occasionally, these places also have a 'Sicilian-style' slice listed, but people rarely buy those, and they're pale imitations of the Chicago deep-dish.

From:

Papa John's is great. I had doubts when I started eating it a couple of months ago, but now I can't stop, apparently. I just ate my third Papa John's meal in two days, having deduced that nausea is caused by cold pizza, but if I reheat it, the problem is solved. Since I get "the works" it makes me feel like I get all the major food groups in there. Papa John's succeeded where friends and family failed and has marginally reduced my stress level at the moment. However, hailing from Chicago, I have deep-dish loyalties that run deep. And your conclusion is more Watsonian than Holmsian, as in you are wrong. I live in Williamsburg.

From:

i though around columbia b/c the only two papa john's locations are around there, like 110 and Central P. West., and like 125 and something. anyway, papa johns: I almost always get just cheese, as plain jane just cheese appeals to my minimalist or even colonial simplicity, also, just three ingredients allows the pizza eater to recognise them easily, the cheese/dough interaction, the sauce/cheese layer, etc.,

Another reason to like pizza is it's geometric simplicity: circles and triangles. Circle have no threatening edges, and look complete. they're some Eucledean solid or something. the circle then becomes triangles, and usually an even number. this all makes the pizza eater feel in harmony. circle.. triangles (fit easy into mouth), also, circles are easy to dissect, so the eater can see how much is gone, how much remains, gauge their fullness, etc.,

Also, b/c of the symmetry of even numbers, pizza eaters can show how fair and democratic they are. one-man, one-vote for whatever toppings, and you can divide the pie up in perfect fairness. it's good citizenship to split the pie in half, then eat. solitary eaters can also fragment their pizza into half-and-half topping zones (half-anchovy, etc.)

Besides the civility of circle and squares, the pizza is visually appealing because of it's bland and soothing colors, yellows, beiges and reds. this makes people hungry, moreso than blue jello or white ice-cream or whatever.

Like chips and salsa (also beige and red and traingular) pizza is tactile. Americans love tactile food, which is why pizza and chips and salsa are huge. sure, i eat popcorn with a spoon, but the added sense involved, touch, makes pizza a more fulfilling experience. sight, smell, touch, taste.

Pizza's civil and harmonious shapes(cube to circle to square), it's pleasing colors, the fact that it's tactile, that it allows americans to be democratic and fair, that it pleases those with aestetic leanings, and those with spatial-reasoning skills (easy to gague in fractions), it's celebration of italian ethnicity, pizza is an institution.

A brief anecdote: one time, i was depressed while home on vacation, my friends invited me to papa johns (the parking lot) we split a large cheese. It was perfect. My day was saved. bonding with old friends, perfect pizza from the back of a truck, standing around laughing, the little pepperonicini peppers, i have the "passion for pizza."

From:

IN MY OPINION Papa john’s pizza is inferior to the pizza available in the independent locally owned pizzeria 2 stores up on the same block, but if one thinks it’s a delightful taste sensation fine, so be it. I love kraft mac n cheese. I love creamy skippy on toasted “Italian” Wonder bread. Papa John’s pizza tastes fine to me, but then again so does Elios. I hate Papa John’s as a phenomenon, not because I have especially strong feelings one way or the other on the pizza itself. I find it’s presence insulting, I don’t want a little piece of authentic suburban malldom plunked down right here in Brooklyn. That does not make me feel more cozy and at home…I may have grown up upstate, but I also, like, left. I don’t like having to see the dreary corporate design of that fugly place every time I walk to the train…I don’t like that the pizza place that was already there before Papa John’s pulled it’s jacktacular nose-thumbing is losing business to a place that has such distain for it’s customers that there’s not even anywhere to sit. Papa John’s makes me want to die.

From:

What's the name of this locally owned pizza joint 2 blocks up from the Papa John's? And what type of pie are they turning out? East coast or "left coast"?
unrelated:
who's had Stromboli's foccacio on 7th and b, or c (In Mantan)? It's all red and garlicky? oh my god damn.

From:

it's named after the owner i presume...something like Freddy's II or Johnny's II

i don't like it because it's too greasy and even when it's freshly made it tastes like it's been left out since morning and then reheated.

never had the focaccio in question, but then again i don't make a point out of eating focaccio. i make a point out of eating sushi. and papa johns. someone should create sushi pizza. maybe wolfgang puck.

From:

dude, it's 2 stores up, on the same block. on the same side of the street. i feel weird saying the name because i don't want cyberstalkers.

From:

oh, fuck it then. Anyways: the foccacia at Stromboli's on 7th and something like B or C is crazy. Basically it's shaped like a slice of sicilian, with crazy garlicky sauce and no cheese. You should stalk THAT place. whoa.

back to Corporate vs. Mom& Pop pizza: even your local McDonalds is "locally" owned, so the Papa John's people down the block had to buy the franchise rights and the trade secrets to be able to make "official" papa john's pizza. So, my question is: say you want to buy a car, do you pay $30K to some charming family down the street to take 2 years to make it, and then it's all distinctive, charming and accident-prone, or do you fork over only $20K to Ford and get one just like everybody else? Of course, this analogy has holes, but still? Anyway, this is not meant to be derogatory or aggressive, we're talking pizza here. And we're all pizza lovers, right? Are you, or are you NOT a pizza LOVER? Answer Me!

From:

yes i am a pizza lover.

From:

doesn't

chelvis kind of sound like

universaldonor when he is being aggroobsessive?

From:

kind of, but different too.

they are both pretty unique.

From:

"I too [sniff]: [all choked up] a pizza lover!"

Let us ponder: If someone orders a pizza, with extra cheese (a pretty standard topping at most places). And he also asks for Extra Sauce as a topping (this is more rare, but it does happen). Then, he convinces the pizza makers to use extra-dough, like, the amount of dough for a large, but this time, a medium. He's getting a medium pizza with three toppings: extra cheese, extra sauce, and extra dough. Is he getting "extra pizza?"

You don't have to answer.
Enough talk of pizza.
Let us simply agree that Pizza Is Awesome.

From:

you have a rich and monomaniacal obsession with pizza. excellent.

From:

I had doubts when I started eating it a couple of months ago

That’s a lie. If I’m not mistaken, you were all excited that papa john’s was coming before it even opened. you and I have been having arguments about papa john’s since before you bought your first williamsburgian slice.

From:

au contraire, mon frere (SIC?)

we've been having arguments about it since before you saw me eat the first slice that you saw me eat--does that make sense? the first slice i ate was with jay and you were not around. i was reticent, but he was very enthusiastic about it and got me to try it, and then i became very enthusiastic as well, at which point i started advocating it with you.

it is possible that i advocated it even earlier in theory, but more, like, "cool, another pizza place in addition to Domino's" (because as you know, I don't like that pizza place that's two doors up from Papa John's at all, and I don't particularly like Domino's either, and I like Carmine's but that requires delivery).

This whole thread is completely out of control, btw.

From: