(no subject)

[lapsedmodernist]

1) Our house has wheels at the bottom, and it is relocating to Las Vegas as I am typing this. It's all part of our landlord's initiative to save on his "heating bill" and he is so broke because he spent all his money on installing the wheels. nuncstans and superchango inadvertently got trapped here when the relocation began. They would like to go home, but we are in the middle of Iowa now. We are going to bring Roy flowers.

2) I think people are often confused about how to relate to various symbolic objects or locations, so as, like, a symbolic shortcut, they pee on it. Like, the middle of America (in Iowa). or, according to superchangp, the heart of Argentina, in Cordova. It's like, "oh, what does this mean, what's my relationship to it, how does this relate to me, ahhhh, I'll pee on it." Obviously, boys more so than girls. Cuz, you know, of outdoors plumbing and such.

Comments

Bye totalvirility"! Bye drasialove!

[nuncstans.livejournal.com]

We are on our way, and thank god for this wireless connection. Who knew anthrochica had such foresight?

Since this is bound to be a long trip, I think I should mention that 2) is totally wrong. Women do not have "indoor plumbing". It is no more difficult to pee outdoors than indoors. The difference is that peeing on things is more popular among men than women.

Re: Bye totalvirility"! Bye drasialove!

[lapsedmodernist.livejournal.com]

I totally agree!

The trip can continue!

You're Crazy

[superchango.livejournal.com]

HELP! Anyone. Please help.

[superchango.livejournal.com]

We're in Idaho. I feel I'm going insane. We had the misfortune of taking a wrong turn. And ending up in a dirt road with a flat tire. Who's gonna fix it? superchango, of course. It took me four hours. Our driver, the landlord, was, let me tell you, good for nothing. The only tool that he had was a ball of string, a box of nails and a bunch of silverware.

We're back on the road; anthrochica is driving now and constintina is navigating. Nonetheless I have the feeling we're going the wrong way. I'm going insane here. I don't know for how long I'm going to be able to keep writing. The reception is not very good in the Idahos.

Hope you're all well. I hop

[superchango.livejournal.com]

Cordoba, not Cordova

It's like my saying you're from Mosqu.

By the way, people don't just pee on those things. It's not a sport, you know. Only a few. The scum of the earth. They're only 5% of our population, you know. Those are the ones who get drunk and pee on meaningless things.

[lapsedmodernist.livejournal.com]

meaningless things like girls?

sorry about cordoba. i assumed it was a thing where it's spelled with a "v" but pronounced with a "b" like "vivir." but now that i think about it, in argentina the "v" is pronounced.

shit, i think the brake pedal is stuck. fix, it, superchango before we plunge into the dark night of Idaho. or is it Oklahoma? everybody sing!

[tomorrow-devil.livejournal.com]

All three of you are giving me the willies.

(P.S. - Boys like to pee on things because they have better aim than girls. Simple. As. That. If it were just as easy for girls to sink paper boats floating in a toilet - Harriet Carter used to carry them - then that's what they'd be doing, and, obviously, the patriarchy would collapse.)

[lapsedmodernist.livejournal.com]

you shouldn't be afraid of us! you should be afraid of the Teddy Bears! and possibly mountain lions.

bullseye

[remsaverem.livejournal.com]

If women practiced since the day they were potty trained (give or take) they could aim as well as men. sober.

the real test is, how well can you aim drunk?

Re: bullseye

[lapsedmodernist.livejournal.com]

i think we would still be at a disadvantage w/r/t being able to aim from different angles. unless we were very bendy. which, if we practiced since being potty trained, we would be. constintina can put her legs behind her head. that page wouldn't load for me. boo.