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lapsedmodernistfirst day of school started with apprehension, headache and nausea which did not subside after a bagel and coffee...intorductions were funny, like a tonguetwister on purpose: these were the names in a row:
elka, oola, nica, livia, lydia
ha! maybe only people with exotic names go into anthropology. whatever. the relief came aftgerwards when i had to go run all these errands that were all part of a routine established long before school started; part of my life in new york, and my identity independent of school. that was the problem of UCLA; i had no identity escpt the heavily dictated/regulated one as a student of ev.psych. in that department. well, later on i developed a subversive identity as this angry ketman-playing freak, which was not healthy either. i lacked an outside life (as well as sane collegues and professors but that's whole other issue). but anyway, i went to the bank, went to return a watch, walked through williamsburg, stopped by beacon's closet even though i won't have money until the 15th, then took the train back to my house, made plans for the tomorrow night, and realized that i have had and will have a life that preceded and will coexist with the grad program, i know i will like the classes, and it's ok if i don't love the people; at least it won't be this unhealthy cocoon. i am not saying i won't like the people, i just feel a lot mor healthy going into this.
hm, i was feeling sorta blue for unrelated reasons, but writing about this made me feel better.
and the moral is: The greater part of our happiness or
misery depends on our dispositions,
and not on our circumstances.
well, actually...nevermind.
elka, oola, nica, livia, lydia
ha! maybe only people with exotic names go into anthropology. whatever. the relief came aftgerwards when i had to go run all these errands that were all part of a routine established long before school started; part of my life in new york, and my identity independent of school. that was the problem of UCLA; i had no identity escpt the heavily dictated/regulated one as a student of ev.psych. in that department. well, later on i developed a subversive identity as this angry ketman-playing freak, which was not healthy either. i lacked an outside life (as well as sane collegues and professors but that's whole other issue). but anyway, i went to the bank, went to return a watch, walked through williamsburg, stopped by beacon's closet even though i won't have money until the 15th, then took the train back to my house, made plans for the tomorrow night, and realized that i have had and will have a life that preceded and will coexist with the grad program, i know i will like the classes, and it's ok if i don't love the people; at least it won't be this unhealthy cocoon. i am not saying i won't like the people, i just feel a lot mor healthy going into this.
hm, i was feeling sorta blue for unrelated reasons, but writing about this made me feel better.
and the moral is: The greater part of our happiness or
misery depends on our dispositions,
and not on our circumstances.
well, actually...nevermind.
