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This is a totally geeky post
Feb. 17th, 2004 11:09 pmLately I spend my days in the editing studio, developing a Stockholm Syndrome relationship with Final Cut. There is some serious input/output disproportion happenning. Like, yesterday and today I edited for a grand total of 11 hours, and I now have a three-minute scene to show for it. And I haven't even fixed the sound in it. From a utilitarian perspective it's about as efficient as commissioning monkeys to Pierre Menard their way through Hamlet, David Ives' play notwithstanding. But it all about art. Actually, I am not not sure...are documentaries art? Wank amongst yourselves!
In the meantime, because it pleases me to compile this list, here are the top 5 things that I hate about Final Cut.
1) There is some weird homeostasis that must be preserved between the local/remote setting on the DVC-pro deck, the line setting on the VCR and the LCD monitor in order for the picture and sound to appear in synch where and when I need them to. At least once a week some ghost-in-the-machine SNAFUs result in my clips playing at, like, half speed on the Final Cut screen, while it's stopping-and-starting, all sans sound on the monitor. Or, it won't play at all in the program unless I ixnay the monitor, and then it will only play without sound. Uh...do I try to edit with no sound but at least I can mark in/out points, or do I do a really rough edit from the monitor, but with sound?
2) Second and third audio tracks randomly go AWOL in the timeline display and no amount of scrolling will make them reappear.
3) I sort of understand how the panning works with the channels on the mixer; I really don't understand how it works in Final Cut. In fact, 90% of audio-tinkering techniques in postproduction are a big mystery to me. I just, like, raise and lower the levels manually until the sound levels match more or less, and match more more often than less. Got that?
4) I am fine with logging because it actually requires involvement and decision-making on my part (not to mention creativity when it comes to clip names, I just love assigning names to clips like "asshole interview" and "SPOOKY!!!") but capturing takes so fucking long and you're basically rendered (heh-heh) captive while it's going on. See above re: Stockholm Syndrome. Also, that sound the tape makes, as it independently stops and starts, is upsetting to me and makes me think that the deck is going to projectile vomit it out any minute, a la Linda Blair in The Exorcist.
5) Say you write a paragraph worth of intertext. Say you forget to hit ENTER between line breaks, even though on screen the line breaks appear, lulling you into false complacency. Then, once you drag it onto the time line, whoops, it runs offscreen like the runaway train. You have to go back, you have no idea where the breaks should be inserted, and you end up redoing it, like, five times, because
It will look like
this
and you will be annoyed and k
ick yourself
and then you will redo it
and it
will look like
this and you will have to
redo
it again
and then you will try to center it
hoping that it will even it out
and
it will look
like this and you will want to kill yourself.
Hm. from over here it looks like an e.e. cummings poem.
But it's not all bad. I am fair and balanced (TM) like Fox News, so here are my 5 favorite things about Final Cut.
1) The satisfaction of moving the clips around when the snapping is on. It's the same kind of satisfaction that comes from inserting things into other things that make a click upon succesful connection, and from watching the superior bleach getting the stain out in detergent commercials. It's great.
2) You can literally make music swell. You feel like Wagner's conductor. You feel like ubermensch.
3) Cross-fades. I am addicted to cross-fades. I have a cross-fading problem.
4) Slowing the speed to 50% makes handheld static shots look really artsy.
5) Starwipes.
In the meantime, because it pleases me to compile this list, here are the top 5 things that I hate about Final Cut.
1) There is some weird homeostasis that must be preserved between the local/remote setting on the DVC-pro deck, the line setting on the VCR and the LCD monitor in order for the picture and sound to appear in synch where and when I need them to. At least once a week some ghost-in-the-machine SNAFUs result in my clips playing at, like, half speed on the Final Cut screen, while it's stopping-and-starting, all sans sound on the monitor. Or, it won't play at all in the program unless I ixnay the monitor, and then it will only play without sound. Uh...do I try to edit with no sound but at least I can mark in/out points, or do I do a really rough edit from the monitor, but with sound?
2) Second and third audio tracks randomly go AWOL in the timeline display and no amount of scrolling will make them reappear.
3) I sort of understand how the panning works with the channels on the mixer; I really don't understand how it works in Final Cut. In fact, 90% of audio-tinkering techniques in postproduction are a big mystery to me. I just, like, raise and lower the levels manually until the sound levels match more or less, and match more more often than less. Got that?
4) I am fine with logging because it actually requires involvement and decision-making on my part (not to mention creativity when it comes to clip names, I just love assigning names to clips like "asshole interview" and "SPOOKY!!!") but capturing takes so fucking long and you're basically rendered (heh-heh) captive while it's going on. See above re: Stockholm Syndrome. Also, that sound the tape makes, as it independently stops and starts, is upsetting to me and makes me think that the deck is going to projectile vomit it out any minute, a la Linda Blair in The Exorcist.
5) Say you write a paragraph worth of intertext. Say you forget to hit ENTER between line breaks, even though on screen the line breaks appear, lulling you into false complacency. Then, once you drag it onto the time line, whoops, it runs offscreen like the runaway train. You have to go back, you have no idea where the breaks should be inserted, and you end up redoing it, like, five times, because
It will look like
this
and you will be annoyed and k
ick yourself
and then you will redo it
and it
will look like
this and you will have to
redo
it again
and then you will try to center it
and
it will look
like this and you will want to kill yourself.
Hm. from over here it looks like an e.e. cummings poem.
But it's not all bad. I am fair and balanced (TM) like Fox News, so here are my 5 favorite things about Final Cut.
1) The satisfaction of moving the clips around when the snapping is on. It's the same kind of satisfaction that comes from inserting things into other things that make a click upon succesful connection, and from watching the superior bleach getting the stain out in detergent commercials. It's great.
2) You can literally make music swell. You feel like Wagner's conductor. You feel like ubermensch.
3) Cross-fades. I am addicted to cross-fades. I have a cross-fading problem.
4) Slowing the speed to 50% makes handheld static shots look really artsy.
5) Starwipes.
