![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Mar. 9th, 2003 08:02 pmi am SO exhausted. this week has barely begun and it just feels like i have been running on fumes, and those fumes are frenetically propelling me through these few days. i cleaned my room yesterday (and what a herculean task it was), then as i went to bed at like 4 in the morning last night i had a panic attack like i had not had in at least a year. i freaked out at first because it's been so long i forgot what a full-blown panic attack feels like, then assessed what it was, and calmed down a bit (at least on a meta level). then today i got up really early to go to the protest/media event outside the event where MoveOn was delivering petitions; I signed up to be part of the group to the Spanish mission. i also got to stand in the back of the room and see a press conference peppered with hollywood stars against the war; jessica lange did a wonderful eloquent anti-war speech. ethan hawke did not do a speech, but stood there looking hot. after being motivated by all the people who showed up to help, it was especially fun to log onto AOL and see this headline accompanied by a creepy social-realism-type-aesthetic poster:
BIGGER THREAT THAN IRAQ? North Korea, Iran Seek Nukes. Who to Take on First?
I just could not believe my eyes. The problem is, when I am too exhausted to be outraged or motivated, I am just scared as fuck. London is not calling, at least it's not calling anyone besides 1-900-DubyaXXX and I don't live by the river, and I do have fear.
I have had so many things going on in my head for the last couple of days coupled with so many things to do that something has to get sacrificed in the interests of time, and right now it's simultaneous self-analysis that i am usually excellent at. which explains why tonight, after coming home, and finding a letter from my ex-boyfriend to whom i have not spoked in over four years, i read it, stupefied, smoked a cigarette, trying my best to come up with a reaction lurking beneath the fog of stupefication, but now, four hours later, i am no less bewildered.
i should stop this entry before i stop making sense.
BIGGER THREAT THAN IRAQ? North Korea, Iran Seek Nukes. Who to Take on First?
I just could not believe my eyes. The problem is, when I am too exhausted to be outraged or motivated, I am just scared as fuck. London is not calling, at least it's not calling anyone besides 1-900-DubyaXXX and I don't live by the river, and I do have fear.
I have had so many things going on in my head for the last couple of days coupled with so many things to do that something has to get sacrificed in the interests of time, and right now it's simultaneous self-analysis that i am usually excellent at. which explains why tonight, after coming home, and finding a letter from my ex-boyfriend to whom i have not spoked in over four years, i read it, stupefied, smoked a cigarette, trying my best to come up with a reaction lurking beneath the fog of stupefication, but now, four hours later, i am no less bewildered.
i should stop this entry before i stop making sense.
