(no subject)

it's too cold to climb out on the fire escape so i am smoking in my bed, listening to "the royal tenenbaums" soundtrack which is the music i will forever assiciate with this winter that just passed. with christmas lights at polish bars and various ways of feeling colder and colder and listening to it when it was beginning to get light out. i think i have a different brand of insomnia in the winter.
much as i am excited about my grants and the way my project seems to have fallen together, at least in theory (i will know more next week after i talk to this one bio anthro professor), but i do regret that i won't be able to spend the whole summer in new york again. i love summers in new york with the rooftop parties and wine in sidewalk cafes and wandering through the east village at three in the morning when the ground is still warm. and i won't get to have my birthday with friends again...i have not celebrated my birthday with friends since i was 18...and even then, that was with charlie and my ex-boyfriend, and we had to go to court, for fuck's sake, so that birthday could have been better.
i slept a full night's sleep for the first time in about two weeks, as a result i am feeling belligerently lazy today. i woke up, got some sushi delivered, watched "curse of the jade scorpion" which was really funny, and did not even climb out of bed until 5. claire is in town because she is reading a paper at some conference at columbia entitled "murderous whores in the night of the world" (the paper, not the conference) so i am waiting for her to get done with that so we can go out. yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawn. must. wake. up. maybe it's that i did not have coffee today.