I feel AWFUL
Nov. 24th, 2003 06:31 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lapsedmodernistOh my god, I feel so horrible. ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
nuncstans, for your sake I hope we don't have the same thing. I don't really get sick a whole lot, and when I do, I usually manage to keep it as a low-grade, quick-passing thing by emergency administrations of Echinacea, vitamins, tea with honey, organic chicken broth, etc. Also, I take, like 8 vitamin supplement pills per day so I think in general it keeps my immune system in pretty good shape. But damn that Jude Law movie that was filming by the waterfront the other day when nuncstans and I went down there to take photos, because apparently Mr. Law gave me the flu of all flus, or whatever the hell this thing is. Keep in mind, I don't have any "conventional" symptoms like a sore throat or a runny nose--I have a little bit of a cough, but it's completely manageable. No, the bad part is the fever that won't go away (I can't tell you how high it is because I don't own a Heatmeter [TM nuncstans] but I spent most of the day feeling like there were perma-goosebumps on the inside of my body as well as the outside, despite three layers, one of which was pure wool, and the other was street wear; in addition, I just almost fainted on the way back from the bathroom). My head has been hurting for the last 24 hours, ranging between a constant feeling that someone put my [head] in brackets and trying to crack it like a walnut, and a full-blown migraine last night, complete with pain in the right side of the head, seeing bright spots/unable to look at light without severe pain, and nausea, oh the nausea. I was so fucked up, I actually had a conversation about sex with my mother. But I am still getting to the worst part, and it's the feeling in my body. I don't know how to describe it, because it's not exactly pain per se (although various parts of my body do hurt, like my neck and shoulderblades and my effin' elbows), it's a feeling throughout my entire body of sickness, of wrongness, the way people say they can feel "autumn" or "fear" in their entire body, well, I am feeling sickness. It's so intesnse and unpleasant that I am actually catching myself whimpering all the time. And I have to do the kind of breathing you do when you are in pain, that's the only way I can diffuse it a little, otherwise I start crying and that does not help with the headache. Also, I don't want to do anything. And by that I mean, my body does not want to be in any particular state; it neither wants to sleep, nor stay awake. When I close my eyes, it feels like pushing sandpaper together and resulting in short lapses of non-recuperative sleep with fucked-up dreams. When I open my eyes, they hurt and feel parched. Both suck beyond belief. Lying down hurts, sitting up is uncomfortable, standing is pretty much out of the question. I can't seem to keep hydrated despite constantly drinking water, tea, apple juice and orange juice. In addition I feel guilty for the fact that I am going to miss school today, and lonely and verklempt in general, since constintina is upstate, J.Mu is totally busy with a new paramour, my boyfriend is gone for the week, nuncstans is, like, five blocks away but sick as well, and I've barely seen totalvirility for absolutely legit reasons, but still. I am a practitioner of "misery loves company" not in the sense that when I am miserable I want others to be miserable, but I want company around me when I am miserable, because I want to be distracted from my misery. Not to mention, it would be, like, super-great if someone would get me chicken soup and make me tea because obviously I can't go outside for soup, since I can barely make it to the kitchen without collapsing in a pile of whimpers. I'd better get better before remsaverem gets here on Wednesday. Even if I can't drink by then, I'd like to at least be vertical and mobile.
nuncstans, for your sake I hope we don't have the same thing. I don't really get sick a whole lot, and when I do, I usually manage to keep it as a low-grade, quick-passing thing by emergency administrations of Echinacea, vitamins, tea with honey, organic chicken broth, etc. Also, I take, like 8 vitamin supplement pills per day so I think in general it keeps my immune system in pretty good shape. But damn that Jude Law movie that was filming by the waterfront the other day when nuncstans and I went down there to take photos, because apparently Mr. Law gave me the flu of all flus, or whatever the hell this thing is. Keep in mind, I don't have any "conventional" symptoms like a sore throat or a runny nose--I have a little bit of a cough, but it's completely manageable. No, the bad part is the fever that won't go away (I can't tell you how high it is because I don't own a Heatmeter [TM nuncstans] but I spent most of the day feeling like there were perma-goosebumps on the inside of my body as well as the outside, despite three layers, one of which was pure wool, and the other was street wear; in addition, I just almost fainted on the way back from the bathroom). My head has been hurting for the last 24 hours, ranging between a constant feeling that someone put my [head] in brackets and trying to crack it like a walnut, and a full-blown migraine last night, complete with pain in the right side of the head, seeing bright spots/unable to look at light without severe pain, and nausea, oh the nausea. I was so fucked up, I actually had a conversation about sex with my mother. But I am still getting to the worst part, and it's the feeling in my body. I don't know how to describe it, because it's not exactly pain per se (although various parts of my body do hurt, like my neck and shoulderblades and my effin' elbows), it's a feeling throughout my entire body of sickness, of wrongness, the way people say they can feel "autumn" or "fear" in their entire body, well, I am feeling sickness. It's so intesnse and unpleasant that I am actually catching myself whimpering all the time. And I have to do the kind of breathing you do when you are in pain, that's the only way I can diffuse it a little, otherwise I start crying and that does not help with the headache. Also, I don't want to do anything. And by that I mean, my body does not want to be in any particular state; it neither wants to sleep, nor stay awake. When I close my eyes, it feels like pushing sandpaper together and resulting in short lapses of non-recuperative sleep with fucked-up dreams. When I open my eyes, they hurt and feel parched. Both suck beyond belief. Lying down hurts, sitting up is uncomfortable, standing is pretty much out of the question. I can't seem to keep hydrated despite constantly drinking water, tea, apple juice and orange juice. In addition I feel guilty for the fact that I am going to miss school today, and lonely and verklempt in general, since constintina is upstate, J.Mu is totally busy with a new paramour, my boyfriend is gone for the week, nuncstans is, like, five blocks away but sick as well, and I've barely seen totalvirility for absolutely legit reasons, but still. I am a practitioner of "misery loves company" not in the sense that when I am miserable I want others to be miserable, but I want company around me when I am miserable, because I want to be distracted from my misery. Not to mention, it would be, like, super-great if someone would get me chicken soup and make me tea because obviously I can't go outside for soup, since I can barely make it to the kitchen without collapsing in a pile of whimpers. I'd better get better before remsaverem gets here on Wednesday. Even if I can't drink by then, I'd like to at least be vertical and mobile.
