lapsedmodernist | (no subject)

sometimes you walk through the day and it seems like the sounds and the lights conspire to streamline, like in movies, to highlight a mood, a setting. like that feeling that exists on the fingertips of the psyche, the agency that drives certain actions (making a questionable phone call, intuitively seeking out the radius of a person), when you know you need to figure something out, you know there is a reason why you are propelling yourself to this sometimes ineffable goal, and you know with complete certainty that while this reason is obscure at the moment, it will materialize and solidify itself in your consciousness if you follow this vague piped piper of intuition, in a compounded effect your thoughts will fall into rhythm with your steps or your fingers dialing a number, and whatever it is you need to say or ask or see will occur to you right as you reach your goal.
some people need sharp contrasts, extreme feelings to feel alive. i feel alive when i feel this almostness with a guarantee of somethingness.